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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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heather_tate19 Offline
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interacting with my grad student - December 6th 2011, 04:27 AM

So I've been doing research for a little over a month now, working under my grad student, Alison. Alison is a third year grad student who went to Yale for two years, but she decided to come here to be closer to home.

Up until last week I had been doing GREAT research, and being really efficient in lab.

I was REALLY stressed out last week because I was worried about an exam which I was going to take 2 hours after my last day in lab that week. I wasn't listening to her too well, I wasn't paying attention, and I was forgetting everything she told me. Not to mention, I was going EXCEEDINGLY slow in lab.

I could tell she was getting REALLY frustrated with me, and I apologized for being so ADD that week because I was worried about my exam coming up. She told me that she understood and even helped me get work done a little faster.

Anyways, I felt pretty bad about how I performed last week (even though I did AMAZING on my exam) and I really want to be amazing this week to make up for it.

I went in to see her today for our usual short meeting in the beginning of the week, and she still seemed really frustrated with me. she didn't really look at me or smile at me like she usually does.

The problem here, is that I have an extended abstract I NEED to turn in this week and I REALLY need her help with it (I can't do it well, or completely without her and we are encouraged to ask our grad student for help), but I am terrified to ask her questions that would seem to have an obvious answer (I don't know if we did one reaction or two reactions last week, but they both need to be in my abstract). I am also scared to ask her questions at all because I know she has a lot to do too, and I really don't want her to get frustrated with me again-especially over asking short, seemingly obvious questions. I'm doing the best I can do, but it would help a LOT if she could meet me halfway.

I'm really not sure what to do and I can't go through my last two weeks of school stressing over this- with finals right around the corner as well.

Last edited by heather_tate19; December 6th 2011 at 04:51 AM.
   
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SparklingWine Offline
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Re: interacting with my grad student - December 6th 2011, 04:05 PM

Hey there,

She might not even be frustrated with you. She might just be stressed with all her own work. I would talk to her. Tell her your sorry for seemingly frustrating her the other day. And then just ask if she's not busy, if she would be willing to help you with your work. What's the worst that she can say? No. If she does, come up with a Plan B. Honestly, don't let it get to you too much. It's probably that she's just stressed. The best you can do as of now, is talk to her and see if she'll help.

Take care.


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Re: interacting with my grad student - December 9th 2011, 02:55 AM

so I thought I should mention that things worked out a to better this week, more stressful for me, but overall, we got along much better this week.
   
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SparklingWine Offline
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Re: interacting with my grad student - December 9th 2011, 03:11 AM

Awesome! Sounds like things are sorted. I'm really glad things worked out.

Because everything seems to be sorted, I'm going to close this.
Feel free to PM me if you want it re-opened.

Take care



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