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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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How to treat a friend who has hurt you? - December 9th 2011, 03:59 PM

I have major issues with deciding how nice I'll be to someone after they've done something wrong. What usually happens is that after a while, I'll miss them, so I'll forgive them and we'll go on as we were. Or I'll think, "No reason in being rude to someone simply because they were rude to you," so I'll be nice and then they'll begin thinking we're friends again. Then I won't be able to decide if I just want to be acquaintances, or still hang out with them, but only a little bit, or if everything should go back to normal and we hang out a lot. I don't know how many forgivenesses I should give out! How do you guys decide how you're going to treat someone after they've hurt you? Do you give it more consideration if they've hurt you multiple times?


Waitin' for my ruca.
   
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Re: How to treat a friend who has hurt you? - December 10th 2011, 03:28 AM

I think about what role they play in my life. Are they someone that is involved in my life? Are they a relative? Friend? Best friend? Stranger?

I always give a second chance to everyone - but than it raises the question of who do you give a third chance? That I weight out by how long Ive known them, how big of a part they are in my life, and what would I loose if I decided to not give them that third chance?

Once I answer all those questions, I make my decision.

You should ALWAYS forgive people - but never forget. When you 'hate' someone, that wears on you more than it does them - so forgiveness is a powerful things - just know who to trust, and who not to.

Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: How to treat a friend who has hurt you? - December 10th 2011, 08:22 AM

I base my decisions on several factors. First, the nature of their actions. Second, whether they have done the same or similar actions to me. Third, their position on my social hierarchy that I place everyone on. Lastly, their worth and usefulness to me, not simply as a friend but what I gain by having them in my social circle. If I think they will be incredibly useful to me, then I'll be more willing to stay with them for that sole reason and test their usefulness.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
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