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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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katpanda Offline
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Should I just go? - December 10th 2011, 08:21 AM

I am putting this here because I am unsure as to where to put it, so feel free to move it if need be.

If you have read my other threads amongst other forums you would know I have been having issues with my mother and I want to move out. The thing is, my boyfriend hasn't talked to his mum yet about me moving in. I am sick of waiting. It is killing me being here. Mum is trying to convince me to break up with my boyfriend with reasons that only are prevalent because she provoked him. She says she can see bad things in him, etc. The thing is, she doesn't know him that well and she doesn't know how me and him intereact as a couple. I suggested to her a couple weeks ago that when she is ready, I will get my boyfriend to come down and visit and we all sit and talk and sort stuff out. She said she would think about it, instead she is trying to get me to break up with him. She isn't even giving him a chance. She has been attacking him over facebook, and stalking him trying to findout information from all kinds of people from all kinds of places. I can understand she is just trying to look out for me but this is too far. When she said stuff to him over facebook, of course, he retaliated, which is understandable seeing he is angry and upset about her not letting me see him and her taking my phone off me. I don't approve of some of the things he said but he had valid points as did she.

I am sick of my mother everyday just sitting and criticising me. Wanting me to break up with him etc. Should I just go up to my boyfriends house? I am 16 and in Australia they cannot force me to come home at all even with police intervention. They can't stop me. But I don't want to hurt my mum, but she has hurt me enough, and I can't take it anymore.

I know his mum would let me stay a few nights til I find another place to crash. Maybe she might let me move in if I go up there and talk to her myself. If I do go, it will be after my graduation in a couple days.
Any advice would be great.
If you need more information to help you understand this situation a little better feel free to ask questions.
   
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Re: Should I just go? - December 18th 2011, 10:45 AM

Making yourself homeless is always a bad idea. I'd recommend keep working on your mother, trying to get her to see reason, or at least meet your boyfriend face to face. Also, could you ask your boyfriend not to retaliate if your mum contacts him? It doesn't seem fair but it might help you both in the long run.

I'd only recommend moving out if you have a permanent place to move into ready and a way of providing for yourself. Also, leaving home might make things irreparable between you and your mum, so should only be a last resort. It's up to you, but please make sure that if you do leave, you have somewhere to stay in case your mum won't take you back in the future.


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Re: Should I just go? - December 18th 2011, 07:54 PM

Hi Kat, As I have said in other posts that were about the same thing, I would force your boyfriend to ask, and to ask fast. Go up to where your boyfriend lives and ask - this is something that you know needs to be done fast, and if your boyfriend wont do it, then maybe you can do it. If his mom will let your crash for a few days but says that you cant stay then you either have to find a family member to stay with, or back to your moms house - so make sure you plan out where you will be going if she says no. But like I said, and I will say it once more, you guys need to ask his mom ASAP.

Best wishes,
Chris


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