an apparently unpopular opinion

[justmeg]

this might be the wrong spot for this, but it's just something i kinda wanted to get off my chest.

so in my hallway, it seems like all of my friends dislike our RA. when she walks by to say hi or invite us to some school function (like a bonfire) they'll make snarky comments when she leaves and just keep ragging on her. i don't really know why they don't like her at all - granted she does try maybe a little too hard to be nice to everyone, but i think she's really sweet and much nicer of an RA that any of us could have hoped for really. not that i'd want to hang out with her all the time, but i've sat and talked to her a few times in her room and she's one of the sweetest people i know. it just bothers me that the rest of the girls at my end of the hallway jump to conclusions about her and are always making fun of her and being rude toward her without even knowing her.

so i don't really know what i'm asking here...just wanted to get that out there. maybe some advice on how to handle things the next time my friends are mean toward her behind her back? i haven't really defended my RA because i feel like my friends would take it the wrong way, but i dunno. thoughts?

[Houseman]

Try to approach your friends rationally, make the case that she's actually a pretty nice person and that your friends should at least, just ignore her if they don't like her (which is better than making fun of her). I'm not going to tell you to stop associating with them, in fact if this comes up often enough that your friends start treating you differently then just drop it. I know that standing up for your RA is the heroic thing to do, but no one is perfect, and friends are important.

[Chris.]

Well alot of RA's get bashed believe it or not - and most RA's try to become friends with alot of people (and most are overly happy / overly try to build new friendships).

Maybe just saying a simply comments like: I talked to _____ the other day, shes really nice.

A simple comment. Leave it at that because your friends will know you like her - but at the same time you aren't taking sides and aren't getting involved to much in the drama.

Best wishes,
Chris

[justmeg]

thanks, guys. i usually always say hi to her and whatnot, even if my friends give me a weird look, i've just never like, openly defended her i guess. there's actually a little social thing at one of the deans' houses tomorrow night as a break during finals week. my friends heard about it and were like oh yea, we're not going with her... but my RA invited me and i'm going to go regardless of what they think/say

[Chris.]

I'm glad to hear that you are acting like your own person and doing the things YOU want to do! Most people just go with the crowd - Glad you are trying to be socially active but in a positive way!

I hope the the gathering goes well!

Best wishes,
Chris