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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Kelly Offline
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Is it abuse? - March 25th 2009, 05:23 PM

Alright so my parents are good parents in the sense that they have never hit me. My mom is caring and can be really nice but she has this way or belittling me. My dad has really bad anger issues. He makes me feel worthless and not good enough and like a disapointment. He told me he has no standards for me that he didn't expect anything out of me and that I wouldn't amount to anything. He is always putting me down and I just can't take it. Also this hasn't happend in a while but my older sister used to pressure me to do sexual things with her. I used to say no but somewhere down the line I just stopped. Well that hasn't happened since december but still. Well anyways is the way my sister treated me and the way my dad treats me considerd abuse?



   
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Re: Is it abuse? - March 25th 2009, 06:46 PM

Yeah. Sexual abuse by your sister, and possibly emotional abuse from your dad because he makes you feel bad about yourself. I suggest you try and tell someone, perhaps someone through school, who you could confide in and get help from. Even if your sister hasn't done it for a while, it's still wrong. If she tries it again, try your best to say no.




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Re: Is it abuse? - March 25th 2009, 07:19 PM

Hey Kelly,

Any unwanted sexual activity would be considered abusive. I highly recommend telling a trusted adult about what your sister has been doing. I understand that she isn't doing it anymore but it is still important to tell someone because nothing is stopping her from starting again.

It also sounds like your father is being verbally abusive which take a big emotional toll on someone. Is there anyone you could talk with about this? You are a wonderful special girl and don't let anyone make you believe any different. Do you think you could talk with your mom about how your dad is making you feel? I hope things get easier for you soon.

I am always here if you need someone to talk to. I am never to busy to help. Feel free to PM me anytime. Take care of yourself and stay strong. Please talk with someone about what is going on so they can help you put a stop to it.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



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Re: Is it abuse? - March 25th 2009, 10:04 PM

Well like my best friend knows everything she really is an amazing person. I talk to my school social worker all the time but like I don't want to hurt my parents thats my biggest thing.



   
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Re: Is it abuse? - March 25th 2009, 10:15 PM

Hey Kelly,

Like the people above, I agree that both situations you've explained are some form and degree of abusive behavior. Sexual abuse regarding your sister and emotional with your father.

I understand you not wanting to hurt your parents, but what they do to you must affect you in some way. And I doubt it's a positive way. There isn't any reason this can't be fixed and helped. I understand you love your family, but love yourself too. You don't deserve these things and sometimes you need to reach out to someone if you want them to stop. The sooner the better. Sometimes, you need to think of your own well being, otherwise being happy and safe becomes a much harder task.


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Re: Is it abuse? - March 25th 2009, 10:16 PM

Hi Kelly,

If you think you are being abused, and from what it sounds like you are experiencing sexual abuse from your sister, then you need to talk to someone about it. A guidance counselor or school social worker would be best. A friend is always good to talk to, and I'm glad your friend is so supportive, but it can only be dealt with by an adult. It's important that this is solved and your sister learn that what she is doing is wrong.

It doesn't sound like your dad is being very nice either. I know it's hard, but don't listen to those mean things he's saying. It's not right for him to put you down like that and you don't deserve it.

Stay strong.
Nat.


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