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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Wishable Offline
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I am so broken. - March 25th 2009, 11:52 PM

I don't know where the right place to put this is. Actually, I don't know much of anything at this point. How it's possible that I'm supposed to keep going, to keep breathing when I'm hurting this much. I know I've done it before, this is far from the worst I've felt but still...I feel so incredibly lost.

Perhaps you want a little introduction? Or maybe you don't really care, maybe you're simply clicking on random links because it's a boring wednesday night and you have nothing to do. Whatever the reason, I'm going to write because its the only thing that ever eases the pain a little.

So once upon a time I went away to school and was unable to escape the things I was running from. Everything caught up with me and I fell into a steep depression and became suicidal. I ended up leaving school on medical leave. My friends were amazing through out this all, there for me whenever I needed them. Sometime between all the mess though somethings started changing, and they stopped talking to me like they used.

After a long period of fights, tears, and false hope they eventually each came to me separately and "broke up with me". They told me they couldn't do it anymore, that I had used up all the caring they had.

THEY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS. I care so much about these people and they don't want anything to do with me anymore. I feel so fucking alone, and literally the only thing that I want in this world is some friends.

I care so so much about people, and I gave them every piece of my heart. Little gifts, letters, notes, I would have dropped anything for them. I invited them into my home, my life, I cared so much about them! How can they do this to me?! How can I ever move on if there is a part of me that just doesn't want to let go of them. They broke my heart and I don't know what to do. I'm so lost.




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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am so broken. - March 26th 2009, 12:50 AM

Hi Remy,

This is definitely the perfect place to put your post, so don't worry about it. And people read these because they care and want to see if they can help

I'm really sorry that your friends felt this way and gave up. It sounds like they really cared about you and you cared about them. What I suggest is trying to think up the reasons they might have left. You may have thought they were helping you a lot, but did you tell them that? Did you show them that you really appreciated all the time they spent with you? This can be hard to do sometimes, but all they really need is to have you with them and have fun with you.

Friends are people you can trust and confide in and talk to, but remember that sometimes they need to talk to you and confide in you and trust you as well. Maybe they had a hard time doing this.

I really think you should talk to them again. Although they lost touch, you still have had good times with them and I'm sure they care about you. Just call them up some time and ask if they want to hang out. Try to do something fun with them. Push the past issues aside for a moment and just focus on doing something you all enjoy. Let them know that you don't want to focus on the fights and disagreements, but you want to move past that.

It's really tough when friends fall out, but if they don't want to try and make things up with you, then I think that no matter how hard it is, you should try to move on. There are plenty of people out there that would love to be friends with you, all you need to do is meet some more people.

If you want to talk about this some more or about whatever is on your mind, feel free to PM me.
Hold in there.

Nat.


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Re: I am so broken. - March 26th 2009, 02:46 AM

One thing is certain, you are an excellent writer.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am so broken. - March 26th 2009, 01:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wtp View Post
One thing is certain, you are an excellent writer.
Thank you, that means more to me than I have words for.

Look guys, I just can't do this anymore. I CAN'T HURT THIS MUCH! I'm tired of it! I look at her and she walks away, she can't even meet my eye. That hurts so much... she is my best friend! My friends are everything to me, as much as she has broken my heart I'd still drop anything to be there for her.

But she doesn't want me.
No one wants me.
I can't do this.




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Re: I am so broken. - March 26th 2009, 02:08 PM

hey remy.

you know, if you do all this for these people and they never did appreciate you, then THEY ARE THE ONES WHO DONT DESERVE YOU . you're too special for them and you deserve other, much better friends. always remember that you are a special individual in your own right because you're so warm.

either that, or they didnt really see how much of a caring person you are . show them your positive qualities because i'm sure you're glowing with them no matter what, remember that you deserve them, because everyone deserves friends

i know it might sound crazy.. but true friends never stop caring for each other i believe that, no matter what, there is a part of them inside that still cares for you. i truly believe in that.. you just have to bring that side of them out again

always ready to help, no matter what happens


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Re: I am so broken. - March 26th 2009, 02:13 PM

People do you want you and if your "friends" are going to come up to you and tell you they have used all the care they can and can't be friends with you anymore, they really aren't your friends. Caring isn't something that comes in doses and once you've cared a certain amount you can't care anymore because it's something that everyone can do without ever running out so that excuse isn't really a good one. Have you tried talking to them about why they feel they can't care for you anymore, it could be they have a few more reasons that despite me saying they aren't worth being your friends, you can work out and rebuild the friendship?

There are people out there that are going to be better friends then they were, they will be there to care for you no matter what the situation and I'm sure you'll be there to care for them just the same which brings me to the first point that people do want you, you just have to find those people or maybe they'll even find you.

If you ever want to talk, my PM box is always open so feel free to send me a PM at anytime.
   
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Re: I am so broken. - April 8th 2009, 10:36 PM

the final piece fell into place today.

i loved them so much. but i wasn't good enough.

it's over.




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Re: I am so broken. - April 9th 2009, 12:58 AM

you can always find new friends. as i said.

i'm sure that there WILL be people who will care for you unconditionally without a limit, and listen to everything you have to say. These people are your TRUE friends, and true friends DONT have a limit for caring

being the wonderful and caring person you care, you definitely will find new , true friends. and

these friends are going to stay for good

always remember you got us to support you always!!


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !

I'm firing mah Hugs!
   
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Re: I am so broken. - April 9th 2009, 07:14 PM

Remy,

You came to the right place.

I have a lot to say on the subject so I'm going to PM you it, as I don't want to make everyone read it! lol


Time heals the wounds unhealable!

Feel free to talk to me if you ever need someone, I know how it can feel to be lost, to be found, to be disappointed and hurt. I also know that it can always get better!
   
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Re: I am so broken. - April 12th 2009, 01:56 PM

Everyone, thank you so much for your kind messages and words. It's been such a long struggle with this mess, and I'm still working on recovering from it. It's hard because we still all have to live together, and I have to see the whole group of people that used to be my family here ignore me completely. I spend a lot of meals eating by myself, or with people I barely know. It's just rough because it reinforces everything I was always afraid of, that eventually people would get sick of me.

Another thing that makes me incredibly angry is the fact that they have blamed me for stealing drugs, hiding notes in their bags, all this ridiculous stuff that I would never, ever do. That hurts, the fact they are spreading rumors about things that I definitely didn't do!




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Re: I am so broken. - April 12th 2009, 04:46 PM

Hey Remy,

That is not nice of them at all, and they shouldn't be spreading rumours. That is very low of them to do. If they are doing that, then they don't deserve you as a friend anyway.

I think you should take this as an opportunity to get to know those people you are sitting with now a bit better. You may barely know them now, but they could become good friends if you start talking to them more and hanging out with them.

Just ignore the lies and move on from them. It's their loss that they don't have you as a friend anymore.

Nat.


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Re: I am so broken. - April 12th 2009, 05:01 PM

Nat already said what i wanted to say

but the most important thing to remember is that everyone here knows you're a wonderful person, and if your "friends" fail to recognize that.. thats their loss

never doubt yourself, and always know that you deserve better friends than these


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !

I'm firing mah Hugs!
   
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Re: I am so broken. - April 14th 2009, 10:26 PM

It looks like its definitely time to make new friends. If they can't stay by your side while you're going through a hard time then they're not your real friends. You should definitely start talking to new people, and people that will actually care.

Karma will deal with your "friends" and get back at them. I really hope things get better for you, and you can send me a message anytime if theres anything you need to talk about. I'll try to help you out the best I can.


~Sabrina
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