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alysaurus Offline
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Name: Ali
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Opposing Views. - March 26th 2009, 01:27 AM

I've been raised Catholic all my life, and I still willingly attend a Catholic church, but I've never been sure if I should consider myself a Catholic. I still believe in the stories of the Bible, just not some of the teachings of what's right and what's wrong. I could give endless examples - gays should get married (I considered myself homosexual until a few months ago) abortion is sadly needed if the life or mental health of the mother is in danger (and I don't think any differently of people who think it should always be 'okay') and although I don't have sex or get drunk, my reasons are totally different than what the religion teaches (and again, I can't think any differently of people who do have sex or get drunk, as long as they don't let stuff like that destroy their life somehow).

So basically, I'm pretty laid-back about my views, although I'm strict on my personal morals. My morals are unique to myself, and although some of it was probably influenced by my religion, they are more of something to keep myself in check, not to worry about what anyone else did and not to judge them if they did something that I think of as 'wrong'.

In any case. My mother is Catholic, and I doubt I would have been raised Catholic if she wasn't around. So I suppose I should thank her. But she is very strict in her views - whatever the Church says goes. So I just try not to cross her by getting into debates about things. She never found out I was homosexual, and now that I have a boyfriend which she would approve of more than a girlfriend, she still doesn't know because she'll try to make me break up with him because he'll lead me to sin. Or something. So even though I have to hide alot of who I am from her, I don't mind so I can keep the balance.

The issues comes with Confession. For those of you who aren't familliar with this, it's basically when you talk to a priest in private, tell him your sins, and he forgives the sins. I don't really buy it. I believe that when I feel remorse, that's when I acknowledged I've done something bad, and when I don't feel guilty anymore, I've been forgiven. I don't see a need to go to Confession, especially since I don't feel any different when I leave from when I got there. But my mother believes in it.

I don't know how I can tell her that I no longer wish to participate in Confession. She's not the type who would just hear me out and allow me to make my own choices. She's a bit of a control freak. I've already been Confirmed, so I shouldn't have to listen to her anymore in terms of my faith, right?

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Re: Opposing Views. - March 27th 2009, 01:51 AM

I come from a strict Christian family. And i do mean strict. (My grandmother believes that rock and roll is satan's music. still. even when they're singing about jesus, its still satan's music.)

Anyways, I also have my own views on things that my religion is very strongly against. Like the things you named. I guess i think that as long as you still believe that there is a God and the rest of the majorly important things, there's not a whole lot Mom can say about it. She can be mad, but you're her daughter and she'll always love you.

It could also be a difference in generations, too. Things that are common and everyday for us are completely out of the question for some other generations. (technology being a biggy, haha)

You just gotta do whats best for you, and your mom will have to accept that you're not the same person as her.

Good luck, hope this helped.


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Re: Opposing Views. - March 27th 2009, 11:15 PM

Hi Ali,

I think that it's great that you're making judgments for yourself about this. It's important to have your own set of morals and values based on what you belief in, and not necessarily what your parents believe.

I know what it's like having to walk on egg shells about this- my grandmother is hard core Christian and everyone needs to watch what they say when we visit. We all love her, we just don't believe the same things.

I think that in this case you need to tell her that you don't want to go to confessional anymore. You're 16 and you don't need to participate in this if you don't want to. I understand that it's important to your mother, but if you disagree with it, then I think you should refuse. You still go to church with her, that should be enough.


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wanderlust Offline
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Re: Opposing Views. - March 27th 2009, 11:58 PM

"laid-back about my views, although I'm strict on my personal morals"?

It sounds like youre a pretty kickass catholic cos youre not judging others! i used to get really angry about all that stuff, but my aunt taught me that first of all God is love, and then the rules come after.

And if it helps with the gay thing, i think thats cos two ppl of the same gender cant reproduce, but then again neither do people who use contraception. Yet for the most part people kinda let the latter go, so its my thinking that people used these 'rules' as an excuse for their own homophobia, which is sickening. God loves us, and its not for us to say who he does or doesnt love.
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