TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
TryingToLoveMyself's Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Pacific Northwest

Posts: 72
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Post My older brother..... - March 26th 2009, 05:43 PM

IDK if this should've been put in the bully thread, instead... but ok, here goes.

So, since I moved to South Dakota before first grade, I gained weight. I went from being super-skinny in a ribs-hutting-out kind of way, to being overweight. And since then, my brother's called me fat, fatso, fatty, tubby, fat-ass, fat acid, and a bunch of other names. Even though he KNOWS that the weight is from a medical problem. And so we'll get into physical fights over it, because he knows it upsets me. And most of the time, I win (he's 16, and weighs a little over *** pounds; he's super-thin because of his seizure meds).

Last year, when my knee pain became worse, he would purposely kick it, even if I was just standing there, working on cooking dinner. Same with when my chest hurt; I'd literally just came out of the hospital (which I was in over the entire spring break and his birthday, which he still reminds me of constantly), and he kicked me as hard as he could, right on the stirnum, which he knew hurt bad enough to the point I could hardly breathe.

Why is he doing this? It doesn't make sense to me, because he'll yell at me if I ask him what he wants for dinner, and he'll yell at me if I don't. Same with pretty much everything. It's confusing, and I hate it. What can I do to make our relationship change?


There will come a time, you'll see
With no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair

Last edited by Strider; March 26th 2009 at 07:37 PM. Reason: Edited out weight figures
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
Tash-la
I've been here a while
********
 
Strider's Avatar
 
Name: Nat
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: A broken glass picture

Posts: 1,448
Join Date: January 19th 2009

Re: My older brother..... - March 26th 2009, 07:42 PM

Hi Sam,

I just needed to edit out the weight number you had there. It goes against the Terms of Service to put in those figures. For more information on that, check out the TH Terms of Service.

Have you tried talking to your parents about how your brother is treating you? It sounds like he's being mean and purposely hurtful. I think this is when your parents should intervene. Maybe they can talk some sense into him.

But I think this goes past being mean- he is finding out how to harm you the most, both emotionally and physically, and that is not safe. At this rate, he could get you seriously injured. Your parents need to talk to him about this and inform him of the consequences for these actions. If you are afraid he is going to hurt you again, I suggest you contact a guidance counselor at school to talk about this. They can probably give you more information on the next steps you should take.

Nat.


http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/40/signaturep.png
The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
rockerbabe12292 Offline
The One and Only
Average Joe
***
 
rockerbabe12292's Avatar
 
Name: Jocie Oeser
Gender: Female
Location: Schenectady, New York

Posts: 147
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: January 28th 2009

Re: My older brother..... - March 26th 2009, 07:49 PM

teenage boys are the worst. when I was little, i didnt have any older brothers, but i practically lived at my aunts house and she had 3 boys all of which were significantly older than me. they used to torture me, i was also overweight and they used to pick on me until I would cry, they even locked me in a closet for a few hours. They would push me around, and they treated me horribly. I loved my aunt so i continued to go to her house, but it made me self conscience at a very young age. I'm not sure why boys feel the need to act this way. Im not sure if its a dominance issue or what. He probably has some insecurities himself, and takes them out on you which isn't nice at all. I would suggest telling your parents, not crying and screaming to them after he's done some of these things, but sitting down and talking to them and explaining in explicit detail what he does and how it makes you feel. Maybe they can sit him down and talk to him, and this will be resolved. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or anything.


RIP JESSIE, JACK, & DAVID <3

CJM <3 UNTIL THE END OF TIME

<3 JOCIE

http://www.theblogofjocie.blogspot.com
  Send a message via AIM to rockerbabe12292 Send a message via MSN to rockerbabe12292 Send a message via Yahoo to rockerbabe12292  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Marie Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Marie's Avatar
 
Age: 29

Posts: 87
Join Date: March 19th 2009

Re: My older brother..... - March 26th 2009, 09:35 PM

Your brother is of an age where he needs to start learning how to sit down and talk things through.

I have a 16 year old brother with ADHD and conduct disorder and it's the hardest thing to cope with sometimes. When he wants to hurt me, in any way, he knows how to. Usually I'm thick skinned, but he is relentless.

So one day I sat him down and pointed out his behaviour to him. I explained how it upset me, and I told him that I wanted us to have a good sister-brother relationship.
Now we get on pretty damn well. He comes to me when he has problems and he trusts me, something we never had.

It doesn't work for everyone, but maybe it will with you.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
TryingToLoveMyself's Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Pacific Northwest

Posts: 72
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: My older brother..... - March 26th 2009, 10:35 PM

Strider-- sorry about that! And I've tried... my parents have no idea what to do. THey've taken him to psychiatrists, they've grounded him, threatened to send him to military school... he just doesn't care. And my dad got seriously angry with him and completely went off... since then he backed off some with the physical stuff, but nobody has any idea how to handle him, because he just turned 16 and he has ADD. He does the same stuff to my mom, minus the hitting and kicking, but he makes her feel like crap because of her legal blindness... My dad often times comes up with excuses for why he doesn't help around the house or why he treats us like that, but I'm really frustrated with it.

Jocie-- yeah. That sucks... and my brother did that to me when we were younger, locking me in closets and whatnot... he gets under my skin sooo much sometimes...

Marie-- I know. I've tried this, when my mom would get really angry and threaten to divorce my dad the minute we get settled into our new apartment. I'm just praying to God that he doesn't push her over the edge to where he does. Your brother sounds exactly like mine does... that's exactly how he is. Whenever I try telling him how much he hurts me, he laughs. I'm sick of him... Three years until he goes off to college... and I can't wait.

Thanks so much for your help, guys. I'm just confused. Maybe the move will change him.....


There will come a time, you'll see
With no more tears
And love will not break your heart
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart
And flowers in your hair
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
lukethekid Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
lukethekid's Avatar
 
Name: Luke
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Location: Har Town

Posts: 52
Join Date: March 27th 2009

Re: My older brother..... - March 30th 2009, 11:33 PM

you really need to tell your parents about this because you could end up seriously hurting you or even kill you accidentally and we all know we don't that so you need to find some help asap
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
brother, older

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.