I want to see my friend but can't.. what do I tell her?

[exoticturtle]

Well... My mum doesn't allow me to see my friend Danni out of school coz according to my mum she said something bad about her on Facebook. To start from the beginning, my mum hurts me (emotionally) a lot. So I was talking to Danni over Facebook to help me feel better. Now my mum hardly knows Danni, apart from one time when Danni didn't say hello to her or something so she never really liked her that much.

So one day silly me must have left mozilla Firefox open and my mum decides to snoop around through my private messages. She prints out my conversation with Danni and hides it in her room, Then gives me hell about it and makes me delete my Facebook as well as forbidding me from seeing Danni.

Now as much as I think this is totally unfair of her, I do kinda see her point of view. But what confuses me is that I found the printed conversation and couldn't find anything particuarly terrible that Danni said. The thing is, it's the school holidays over here which lasts until February and because we told each other that we'd catch up, I can't just keep making excuses to Danni why I can't see her. So, do I tell Danni that I'm not allowed to see her because of facebook (which may upset and make her annoyed like I would be), tell her I'm grounded for ages (which is kinda true), tell mum I'm seeing a different friend and somehow get away with it (Though I got caught last time), orrr... some other option that is totally grand and non-existent? Idk.

[Chris.]

I think you need to be honest with her and tell her that your mom doesn't like her - but her opinion doesn't matter to you.

If you really want to be friends with her then I would say go right ahead. Its not like this girl is causing problems or making you do illegal things - and I agree that your mom is overreacting to this whole situation. So if you want to hangout with her, I think you should be able to.

Now, I would try to talk to your mom in a professional manner and tell her to give you a reason why she doesn't like her - a good reason. Communicate - because if you dint your mom probably will never let you see her, and then you have to sneak around which is unnecessary. I hope you and your mom can come to an agreement.



Best wishes,
Chris

[exoticturtle]

Thanks for your reply. I will tell Danni that.. somehow. But communicating stuff to my mum is absolutely impossible. No matter how it's done or by whom. Last time I went out with Danni after school mum questioned me like crazy and I couldn't exactly lie.. so I got in HEAPS of trouble. I'm going to have to be super careful and probably lie to my mum if I want to see her, which I'm trying to avoid (but having a super hard time doing so). Argh.

[Chris.]

Its hard when we have to lie to our parents - especially about stuff that really is senseless to lie about because its not that big of a deal nor should be treated like one.

I'm sorry that your mom wont listen - then you are faced with the question: Would you like to end the friendship with you and Danni or lie to your mom?

[msfsteven]

In my opinion, it isn't right for her to restrict your friend from you.
She doesn't even sound like a criminal or bad influence! She had
definitely judged her wrong. I'm sure she wouldn't want to be
judged like that. But anyways - I'm with Chris. Tell your friend
Danni what is going on, I'm more than sure she'd understand.

Your mom not liking Danni is a personal problem and shouldn't
be against the two of you being friends.

Well, Good luck (: Just try and communicate with your mom like Chris said.
And yeah, I think lying to her would kind of be fair. Your friends are your decision. (:

[exoticturtle]

Thanks for your response I guess whatever happens, happens.

[minniemouseprincess]

I would see her anyway. Your mom shouldn't treat you like that. There isn't anything wrong with Danni, she isnt a ex con or getting you into hard drugs. There's nothing wrong here. Its your mom's problem if she doesn't like Danni for whatever reason. This is your life though, your friendship. She needs to let you be. I think if I were you and Danni mattered enough to me, i'd see her behind my moms back. I know some people are prob. gonna disagree with me about that but truthfully, i'd take the risk of getting caught to be with her.