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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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SouthernBelle. Offline
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Name: Anna
Gender: Female
Location: West Virginia, US

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My best friends. - January 10th 2012, 11:26 PM

I have two best friends. One, I'll call Blue Eyes, the other Pretty Eyeshadow.

The situation in a nutshell:

Blue Eyes is slightly degrading. She steals what little attention I get from guys (or tries to make it seem like they're really after her whenever they're talking to me), she spreads gossip. She broke up me and my ex by telling me one thing after another that he was supposedly doing or saying behind my back.

Yesterday she told me her cousin likes me, then followed it up by telling me how bad and gross he was and how I did not want to date him. She told me this morning not to consider dating the guy Pretty Eyeshadow said called me pretty.

She doesn't even get along very well with Pretty Eyeshadow, who is supposedly "like a sister" to her.

Before I continue on, Pretty Eyeshadow is absolutely my best friend. She is like a sister to me, and despite the fact that we have different religions, we are extremely close. We can talk about anything and everything, and share anything and everything, and neither of us ever get mad at the other, and if we do, it's only for about five minutes, then we apologize and go on and it's all good.

Today she told Blue Eyes and myself that she'd did something she shouldn't have with her boyfriend. She was afraid because she felt like she'd did something very wrong according to her religion though she had repented. I was in the middle of comforting her. I turned around to Blue Eyes -- who sat a full foot away from me and didn't say a word, which isn't unusual -- and Blue Eyes whispered so low that only I could hear: "Don't you think it's bad? I don't think it's right for her to do that. She shouldn't have."

My reply? "It's her choice. Leave her alone."

Things like this happen all the time. Blue Eyes tries to talk about Pretty Eyeshadow and everyone else behind their backs. She manipulates people by lying and telling only parts of the truth, and I know she does, because I've been a victim of her manipulation myself. She tries to control who I talk to by telling me how much she doesn't like some of the people I hang out with, and I'm proud to say she has met to much resistance on that front.

Pretty Eyeshadow and me are quickly growing farther apart from Blue Eyes. Neither one of us feel that she's entirely honest with us.

This situation is very stressful to me, because I don't trust a thing out of Blue Eyes's mouth, and I don't even know if she's lying to me about her cousin liking me or not -- though judging by her reaction to my joyous reaction, I think that, at least, might have been true.

I don't know what to do about it.


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.

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Little Lion Man
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Name: Katie
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 964
Join Date: December 11th 2011

Re: My best friends. - January 11th 2012, 12:59 AM

Sounds like Blue Eyes is a pretty terrible friend. Personally, I think it would be best for you and whoever else is in your group of friends to give her some space. You stated that she's manipulative and talks about people behind their backs. That's not someone you should be around. It'll be hard, but she's got to learn that she's not a good friend.

Sorry I couldn't be there, I was tied to a rocking chair.

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ff.picc Offline
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Name: Picc
Age: 27
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Location: PA

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Re: My best friends. - January 11th 2012, 07:10 AM

I agree with Katie on this one, Your best bet is to space yourself from her. Blue Eyes honestly sounds like a jealous type that can't handle someone around her succeeding in any form before/better then her. Hopefully you and your other friends agree with this, and can creep away from her. If she does all these things, and still calls you to hang out, texts you, and speaks to you over many, She may love the attention you give her, and feed off of it. If this is true, the less and less attention you give her, Blue Eyes will have to find it elsewhere. Thus Relieving you of this torture.

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