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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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heather_tate19 Offline
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Name: Heather
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Join Date: January 27th 2009

Trouble with my Dad - January 11th 2012, 05:08 AM

To start off, I love my father and I will always love him.

However, I've found over the years that I am starting to dislike him more and more.

It all began with my parent's divorce. I didn't like how he:
-Would get drunk all the time (or the fact that he is an alcoholic)
-would abuse my mother, mentally and physically
-had an affair with another woman that started before I was born and he's still seeing her to this day
-treated his family like crap
-wanted my mother to pay him rent for her and 'her children' to live in 'his' house (biologically, we are his children too)
-wanted my mother to go to work and was disappointed when she couldn't make as much money as he could (he's the only surgeon of his kind in our city, and my mom is a nurse)

after the divorce (just some things):
-How constantly fought with my mother over us
-How he started treating his parents like crap when he couldn't treat his family that way any more
-How he wants us to suffer (he's been trying to cut us-his children- off for years, even though he is required, by the divorce decree to pay for over half of our things)
-He wants us to live in some place that is cheap, versus what is healthy-or even sanitary for us.
-he gambled away our college money
-he doesn't want to buy us necessary items (I went two entire winters wearing a sweatshirt to school because he didn't want to buy me a coat)

He makes more than enough money to pay for everything we need, and it's not like my sisters and I live in the most expensive part of the city- we actually live in one of the least expensive areas.

Overall, I'm tired of dealing with him. I just want out of my relationship with him. I have always been his 'sweet little girl', the one he always loved more, but I see what kind of a person he has become, and I've come to a decision that he is not the kind of person I want in my life. After I moved to college, his 'tendencies' only got worse, and he has become more selfish, as well as spending more on his 'mistress' than on his own family. He doesn't want to see us fail, but he doesn't really want to support us either.

I have him in my life for over two more years, and I'm not sure if I can deal with him for that long.

any advice?
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PSY Offline
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Re: Trouble with my Dad - January 11th 2012, 03:15 PM

Hey there! When my parents divorced, I was forced to live with my mom until I turned 18. I didn't know how I would make it through five minutes, let alone five years, with her! My advice is to fill up your life with enjoyable activities and loving relationships - not only will it help take your mind off of all the things your father has done, but it will give you a network of support for when you finally do decide to cut your father out of your life. I am truly sorry that you're in this situation, but I know you will be able to get through college without "losing it." You're too strong for that to happen. =)

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