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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question The "relationship" between my dad and me. - January 14th 2012, 03:34 AM

The thing is that I don't have a strong or good relationship with my dad. 2 times he's lied to me, made me have false hope, and his new wife is not so nice to my mom, me and my sister. She makes him stay home and not come visit us sometimes which pisses me off so much. I just want us to have a better relationship, but I barely see him, so every time he comes over he seems like a stranger...I tried explaining to him to get along and stop being a child, but he stopped talking to me after that. I think it's been a month since I've ever talked to him, but help? I don't know what else can I do. I feel like I've gave up on him making promises to me and stopped trusting him. I just wish it hasn't came to this....



"I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard
While you walk away with the frosting of my heart
So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss
The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night
." - "Cake" by Melanie Martinez


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Re: The "relationship" between my dad and me. - January 14th 2012, 03:51 AM

Sometimes we don't always get that relationship or connect we want with those we want to love.

I think this calls for a heart to heart. Write him a letter. Put ALL your thoughts, and feelings into it and leave nothing unturned. This will 1) lift weight off your shoulders, and 2) let your Dad know how you feel. So give him that letter. After he reads it he will either change and make more efforts or not. If he does, then great. But if he doesn't change or put more effort into the relationship than there isn't much you can do but to continued to love him and wait.

PM if you want to talk to someone.



Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: The "relationship" between my dad and me. - January 14th 2012, 05:40 AM

Like Chris said, we don't always get the relationships that we hope for. Communication is key in a situation like this. Try reaching out to him again, without being accusatory. Tell him how you're feeling and show him that you need a relationship with him. Hopefully, he accepts the invitation and works harder to have a relationship with you.

Just so you know, I have a crummy relationship with my dad too. So, feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk to someone, because I really understand.


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Re: The "relationship" between my dad and me. - January 15th 2012, 04:10 AM

Thank you so much. I'm going to try what you guys put. I really appreciate it because I can't let this get any worse than it is.



"I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard
While you walk away with the frosting of my heart
So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss
The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night
." - "Cake" by Melanie Martinez


  Send a message via Skype™ to Fanatic 
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Re: The "relationship" between my dad and me. - January 15th 2012, 11:27 AM

I couldn't agree more. Interaction is very important. You should write/talk to him, in a very detailed manner. All the best! xx
   
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Re: The "relationship" between my dad and me. - January 16th 2012, 11:29 PM

In addition to what everyone else said, try using "I" statements. No parent wants to be told that they're doing a crappy job - it's a sure way to make them defensive and push them out of your life. So instead of saying, "You don't spend enough time with me," or, "you let your new wife control you," say things like, "it hurts me when you don't come for visitation," or, "I miss having you in my life."






   
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Re: The "relationship" between my dad and me. - January 22nd 2012, 02:35 AM

I say talk to him. Everything is shaped off the power of words. Even if it doesn't create immediate results, your words will still rest in his mind, and it'ss make an impact somehow.
   
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