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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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LizualKei Offline
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My brother cheated on my friend - January 17th 2012, 09:38 PM

Okay, so my brother has been dating this girl for two years. He's 22, she's twenty. They're in the military together. They were the perfect couple. While they were dating, I became very close with his girlfriend. We'd text, skype, and talk almost everyday. She came to visit over Thanksgiving break and ended up spending more time with me than my brother.
Anyway, I find out today that my brother cheated on her with a girl in high school Younger than I am(I'm 20). Naturally, I'm a little creeped out by this. I'm a little conflicted towards how I feel. Naturally, I'm furious that someone would cheat on my friend. It just so happens, this someone is my brother. Now I know, she's my friend, she came in with my brother, blah blah he'll be there forever, she might not blah blah. I know all this, but that doesn't mean I can't be mad at him. I don't want to talk to him look at him, text him.
My brother has seen me angry before, but I sent him a text and he saw a side of me that he's never seen before. This caused him to change his facebook status to "I hate my life" Obvously this made me feel bad, but my brother is probably my favorite person in this entire world. And to hear about this broke my heart.
I'm not really sure what to do, how to feel, how to react. I'm not even sure about anything in this situation really.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Chris Offline
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Re: My brother cheated on my friend - January 17th 2012, 10:36 PM

Did your friend and your brother break up?

As far as your brother goes - I would let it be for a few days. I'm not saying not be angry, or not be upset - but as you said, he is your brother and you are obviously broken hearted that he is in such a 'depression' (if you want to call it that) type of mood. After you take a break for a few days - think about good thoughts and not that he hurt your friend. Remember, everyone will have there heart broken, and some will break others hearts; and he just happen to break your friends heart. I'm sure hes not throwing a party and is all happy - so understand that mistakes do happen, and cheating is unfortunately a big part of this world we live in. I would eventually try to talk to your brother. You don't have to talk about what happen, but maybe just a little talk about how things are going. Your still going to be upset, and she will be upset, and so will he - so understand everyone is basically in the same boat. If you do want to talk to him about your feelings - than that will be great, but expect a blow out and maybe even a fight. Eventually, you and your brother will be fine - sometimes it just takes time and patience to get over things and not be upset anymore.

Now, as for your friend - I would just comfort her. There really isn't much else you can do.

I may be a douche for saying this: but maybe she likes you? Maybe your like her? I'm feeling alittle more than a friendship here, but on the other hand it may just be me. If you do like her - I'm sure she likes you too, and maybe after a short break and heart healing something can happen. But if you (or her) don't like each other than just continue as friend.


I wish for the best.




Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: My brother cheated on my friend - January 17th 2012, 10:41 PM

Oh your uh..theory if we'll call it that, no. No, that is not the case. I can assure you. We partly spent so much time together because my brother pushed her aside and left her with me, so in a sense I almost didn't have a choice.

And that makes sense to me. I mean, I'm not even sure if this girl is 18, if they used protection, if they were sober, things like that. Just...creeps me out that my brother would..do that
   
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Re: My brother cheated on my friend - January 17th 2012, 10:45 PM

I understand - I just wanted to make sure as much people who text/talk/ and hangout often usually have more than just a simple 'friendship' going on. In most cases there are atleast one person in the friendship with more feelings that just a friend should have - I just wanted to make sure that this wasn't one of those cases.

Yeah - and you should feel disappointed and upset that he did in fact do that. But the only thing you can really do is be pissed off at him for a few days - but then ultimately move on and forgive him.


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: My brother cheated on my friend - January 17th 2012, 10:50 PM

Ah, okay (:

And I know it'll blow over, it just feels like it'll take forever, ya know? I want things to be okay with us. He's my brother, and I love him.
   
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Re: My brother cheated on my friend - January 17th 2012, 10:54 PM

And believe it or not - he loves you too - thus why he was upset when you sent him that text message.

I dont think it will take forever! I give it about a week or so - and hopefully you guys can talk about things and maybe try to get to where you left off before all the drama happen.


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: My brother cheated on my friend - January 19th 2012, 11:57 AM

A little time and patience do indeed help to calm down a little and take the right decisions. Don't let this time be endless, though. When you just forget everything without ever making a point, you are doomed to get into a similar situation again.
   
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Re: My brother cheated on my friend - January 20th 2012, 03:53 AM

He wasn't making smart choices, and he got burned.

Unfortunately that's apart of life.

I'm confused to if you have told your friend or not yet, because it's obviously something that they should adress.

- Justin



"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
Technologic
   
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