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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
SarahMarie Offline
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I miss her. - March 28th 2009, 02:44 AM

There are so many things I want to post about, but I suppose I should start with one.

I have 5 nieces and nephews. Ranging from the ages of 10-1. Two boys, three girls. I love them all.

All from my brother, from two marriages. The older two are from his previous marriage, and we don't see them much because they live with his ex-wifes mother. [their mother is in prison for six years for homocide ]

My three that live with him, are my world. Of course I care about them all, but of course I have been closer to, and have watched grow up, the younger three. Especially my youngest niece, who just recently turned one. My brothers wife is a drug addict, and recently she was sent to rehab for six months. Over that period of time, I pretty much raised and/or took care of those kids completely while my brother had to work hard to support those kids while she was gone, because she robbed him of every penny they had for drugs. [He was unaware of all these problems]

I am so attatched to them, I love them so much. I feel like I was their mother figure while she was gone. For the longest time the baby began calling me mama because she is so little, after months she forgot her mom and I was the woman figure to her. I would cry everytime, watching her run around the house saying mama, mama.. if I put her down she will scream and cry until I come back.

I love all the kids equally, but I will admit, I had a special attachment to that little girl. She brightened my day, brightened my world, and she made me feel loved, and I love her more than anything.

So lone behold, his wife comes back. And he stops calling, and they drift away, and all at once before I know it, they are ripped from my life again. And I miss that little girl more than anything, and I really don't know what to do without her, or any of them.

Me and my brother do NOT have a close relationship, and I really feel uncomfortable going over there with his wife who I once had a close relationship. I felt as though I could trust her and confided in her about a lot of things, including my REAL sister who is a heroin addict. Then I found out she is one herself.. I just feel so played, betrayed, alone.
I'm going to be graduating in a year and I fear they will grow up not knowing me, and how much I love them and would do anything in this world for them, even give my life.

I don't know what I'm asking for here, it just feels good to get it out...:/
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Darrenboy! Offline
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Re: I miss her. - March 28th 2009, 08:33 AM

Hey Marie.

you know, letting it out over shows that you're a compassionate person that loves your family members deeply. you know, if you really wanna talk things out with them, just talk to them separately and tell them how much you cherish them. i'm sure this emotional support will mean the world to them and i know they will cherish it. you can find out how that little girl is doing .. and maybe hug her in your arms again

and no matter how late it is, it's NEVER too late to get closer to your brother. He's your family member! and i'm sure deep inside, you both love each other very deeply.. its time that you both started spending more time together. It can be surprising how touching and happy brother -sister bonding sessions can be.

you should spend more time together with them all because i know all of them need your support more than ever i know you wanna touch them in a way that will change their lives in a positive way, and i know that to you, that means more than the world itself. And yeah, this is a point to start taking action you can make a positive mark both for yourself and for them, and there's another thing you have to know...

We're right behind you, supporting you all the way

*gives you a hug * go do your thing, girl!

Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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Strider Offline
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Re: I miss her. - March 28th 2009, 03:04 PM

Hi there SarahMarie,

You know what? Your nieces and nephews are the luckiest people in the world to have you. You are such a caring person and I'm sure that they will remember how much you helped them and love them.

You don't need to have a close relationship with your brother to have a close relationship with your nieces and nephews. Being on speaking terms might be enough. But I do suggest you start talking to him some more and getting more comfortable around him and his wife. With that many kids, I'll bet they would more than welcome the help you could give them. You could offer to watch the kids for a weekend every now and again. You're so lucky because you can be the fun auntie who spoils them

Call up your brother and see what he thinks about that idea. I don't see why he would have a problem with it. He'll probably be grateful for the help.

Good luck

The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
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falcon93 Offline
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Re: I miss her. - April 5th 2009, 09:01 PM

aww thats so hard but remember that you can always go visit them and play with them then im sure they would be glad to see you and love you. they are so lucky to have you by their side i hope that you will be able to see them again soon
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udontno Offline
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Re: I miss her. - April 6th 2009, 03:31 AM

If I was you, I would talk to your brother and your sister-in-law. I would even print out this post to show them. I think this would give them a lot of insight as to how you are feeling in this situation. You have a lot going on and you really love these children. I think that you should try to maintain an active presence in their lives. Talk to your brother, let him know how much you care about these kids. Every marriage needs alone time. If you were to babysit, he could have some time with his wife that is needed. I think it would be a win-win situation for all if he was willing to cooperate.

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