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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question Parents. - January 22nd 2012, 03:37 AM

My mom left me. She moved to New Mexico Dec. 14th 2011. We didnt have a very good relationship. We didn't really have a relationship at all. At first, I was glad she was out of my life but now I think I miss her. We never really talked, we weren't close or anything and we were constantly fighting. She hated everything about me. I haven't talked to her since the 17th of December. I don't know if I should talk to her. I don't know how I should feel. I can't talk to my dad about this because well we just don't talk. Ever. And he's happy shes gone anways. He wouldn't understand. I don't know what to do.
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Re: Parents. - January 22nd 2012, 04:21 AM

Hello, Ricki. Welcome to TeenHelp! =)

Perhaps you are feeling this way because:
1) You want to gain closure regarding everything that happened with your mom.
2) You don't necessarily miss her and the fighting, but you miss the IDEA of having a loving mom.

I don't see the harm in calling her. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen? She doesn't call you back, or if she picks up the phone, she hangs up. What I've found, however, is that distance can really help a parent-child relationship. It allows both people to "cool off" and calmly address their problem later on.

Keep in mind that you may not achieve the results you're looking for right away. It could take time to repair your relationship with your mom... and, unfortunately, it may never happen at all. In situations like these, I think it's best to call every now and then - maybe once a month - just to ask how she's doing and wish her well. With time, she may come around.

In the meantime, since you don't feel like you can talk to your father (or he can't relate to what you're feeling), I'd pick out a couple of close friends to talk to. You're always welcomed to talk to us on TeenHelp, but sometimes that's not enough. You need someone to physically be there with you and offer a fun distraction when you're feeling sad about this situation.

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Chris Offline
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Re: Parents. - January 22nd 2012, 10:00 PM

I agree with Psy.

I can relate - I have always lacked a mother figure, even though I could always physically 'see' her. I have lacked a mother figure that it has been hard for me to be in relationships - because I sometimes subconsciously want girls to care for me like my mother should have. I know the basics of what you are feeling - and the confusion.

I think you should call her. If she doesn't give a good response, then atleast you can say that you tried. But if you do get a response - maybe try to build the relationship up alittle.

As Psy said, try not to expect to much - expectations hurt.

We are always here if you would like to talk - but I also agree that you should have someone offline (physically) to be there for you and to have a great relationship with (a friend, relative, sibling, etc).

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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