I dislike my dad so much...

[stfu.cuppycake]

Alright, I'm not saying I hate him... But sometimes, I just want to shoot his head off or push him infront of a speeding bus. Honestly? I don't like this feeling at all. I try not to think about it, but I just can't. He acts like he knows EVERYTHING. He thinks he's GOD. He judges EVERYONE. He finds fault with EVERYTHING. I mean, he doesn't get along with anyone! Well, he does but not a lot. He has to talk sh|t behind people's back. I'm sick of hearing all of it. Sometimes, I tell him: You're not perfect either, you shouldn't judge people. Everyone has their good & bad side. But it doesn't give him the right to act like he's all that right?. I tell him that, I get grounded for two weeks. He calls my boyfriend ugly, that I should go out with my kind of best guyfriend (they both get along well but he's like 3 years older than me!). I told him, honestly?! You're not that good looking at all. I don't care how my boyfriend looks, I love him for WHO HE IS, everything is not about LOOKS. I cry at night... Every night, I cut myself every two days. (No one knows except my boyfriend & my best friends.) I've attempted suicide twice. Anyway, how do I deal with him? My mum just tells me to ignore him etc. But I CANNOT. I have to go through it EVERY DAY & I'm SICK OF IT. He WASN'T like this at all! I don't know what happened... I miss my old dad, when he would tickle me till I run out of breath, chase me till I fall, everything about him when I was younger . I don't know what to do, I don't want to grow up hating him... I want a good relationship with my dad. Unlike those other people, when their parents die they start getting depressed why they didn't work things out with them & that. I love him, I really do... But sometimes, I just can't... He can be really nice when he's in the mood. Which is probably twice a month -.-. So, what do I do? How do I deal with him? (I AM DEEPLY SORRY IF THIS WENT TOO LONG, I JUST HAD TO GET MY FEELINGS OUT.) Any advices will be appreciated, thank you in advance guys!.

[Iris. ♥]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this, Stephanie. I've felt the same about my dad for the past 5 years and I know it isn't a fun feeling. Honestly, your mom is right. The best thing that you can do is ignore him. But, don't listen to what he says and try to ignore the effects of that. Just ignore him. Period. Let what he says go in one ear and out the other. If you can manage to tune him out completely, things will be a little bit easier. Also, it's so important that you talk about these feelings with someone, whether it's a friend or a counselor. Trust me, it helps more than you realize. Oh, and please stop hurting yourself! Do you remember when you were a little kid and people said never to let bullies get to you because they weren't worth it? Same idea. Your dad is being a big bully and he's not worth you hurting yourself over. So, please just try to stop. My PM box is always open if you need to talk.

[stfu.cuppycake]

Yeah, I see what you mean. But how do I ignore him? He CONSTANTLY tells me I'm USELESS. He tells me out of his kids I'm the most stupid, useless, ugly, lazy one. What kind of dad is that? He ALWAYS HAS TO COMPARE*me to my sister which is like 8 YEARS OLDER THAN ME. I mean she has her OWN FAMILY. My dad tells me I don't work, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO WORK AT 13?! YOU HAVE TO BE 14 & 9 MONTHS TO WORK. I tell him that, he says 'Stop making excuses.'. I'm running out of patience! If I could walk out of this horrible family I WOULD. I can't wait to get a job, save money & move out! I don't want anything to do with him anymore, he ALWAYS has to put me down. & as for the self-harm part, I started when I was 9 due to family problems. Which DIDN'T involve my dad. I stopped cutting about 2 months straight, but about 1/2 months ago I lost both of my best friends & I had to go through so much sh|t with my dad, cutting seems to be the best way. Anyway, thank you so much for your advices.