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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Best friends - February 2nd 2012, 12:58 AM

Is it right to be mad at your friends if they don't understand half the things you are saying and you always have to repeat yourself? I have terrible hearing at times and my only two friends that I really hang out with at school started yelling at me today because I didn't understand them. It's not my fault I was born with bad hearing. So then they just started talking saying things like "I hate it when I have to repreat myself. People should listen the first time. " Then my other friend said "Yeah Rachel!"

Then I asked my friend a question because I was surprised she actually wrote in her planner. So then my other friend started yelling at me again saying "You know other people have frikin' feelings to!" What's so wrong with asking a question?

So now my friends won't talk to me. What should I do?


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Re: Best friends - February 2nd 2012, 01:38 AM

Well first off I think you need to make sure your friends are aware that your hearing is bad. Make it clear.

Secondly, I think you need to give the friendship a few days break, and then try to talk to them and express all your feelings and tell them your sorry and you want to be friends, etc.

If they don't accept your apology, then there really isn't much you can do - but frankly it would be stupid if they didn't accept your apology and move on.

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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Best friends - February 2nd 2012, 04:31 AM

No, it's not right for your friends to be mad at you - but they may be mad because 1) they don't fully understand the situation, and/or 2) they lack the ability to fully empathize due to their age(s). My ears are shaped in such a way that it can be difficult for me to understand people in certain situations (ex. at a party, with lots of background noise). I remember explaining this to some people during my high school years... and while some made an effort to speak more clearly/speak while facing me directly, others haven't believed me. They didn't see hearing aids, so they assumed I was making it all up for attention. Let me tell you, that's not a good feeling... and if that is currently happening to you with your friends, then I am truly sorry. As I've grown older, though, I've discovered that more of my friends have been understanding and willing to alter their behaviors in order to accommodate me.

If I were in your position, I would take a day or two to prepare yourself. One thing you can do is educate your friends about your condition. Do you know what it is called, or what is causing you to have poor hearing? If so, print out some information and share it with your friends. Let them know that you aren't trying to make excuses for yourself, but you do want them to understand why you ask them to repeat themselves, and you also want them to understand this isn't something you can help. Hopefully, they will possess the empathy and maturity to accept what you're saying and remain friends with you. If not, then I would seriously reconsider your decision to maintain friendships with these girls.






   
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Re: Best friends - February 2nd 2012, 11:38 AM

Hey
I suggest you to clarify yourself that you don't have excellent hearing. I don't think there's any need of apologizing here, as it's not your fault really. (That's just my opinion, by the way!) But yeah, if they are still upset after you tell them about your hearing, then you can try saying sorry. Hope everything works out perfectly. All the best!

~Mandy xx


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Re: Best friends - February 2nd 2012, 08:13 PM

Thank you guys so much. I don't need hearing aids or what my problem is. I just can't hear. My mom and brother are like that too. But yeah now my friends are telling people that I'm making up excuses and that i'm being a lousy friend. So I'm trying to deal with that. But I did start talking to one of my friends today, I guess we are good. But when the two friends are together I'm left all alone and I feel sad about it. That's because one of my friends makes fun of loner people. I hurts because I'm one of those people, but oh well.


~I was always scared of everything, even the carousel.~

~Don't worry about me. I'm sort of feeling fine, but by tomorrow, I'll be back on my feet again.~

-Goodnight Tonight
   
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