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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Grey Fox Offline
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Thumbs down Best friend left - March 29th 2009, 07:31 PM

Okay here's my prob. I guess I'm not really expecting for any help really and just here to have a little rant but any advice would be great thanks.

So me and my best friend have always been good together and hardly had many fights but the past few weeks she was acting strange and a little "meh" with me. I always ask her what's wrong and she normally tells me her probs but whenever I asked her about this she said she was having an off day or something similar, so I thought nothing of it.

But then after this happened like 3 times and then on the 4th she sorta got really annoyed with me and said she needed space and time alone which I let her have. Then after about 3 days she said she didn't want to be friends with me anymore and she had no more feelings for me and that she had gradually stopped like me. And I go really upset and wanted to work it out be she didn't want any of it and said I was too clingy for her and that's pretty much why she wanted to go.

I admit, sometimes I might get a bit clingy but she herself knows that I lost many friends in the past by being too distance and obviously I got the balance wrong this time aswell, but I would try to space myself if she told me this before.

So now she left me and I feel really bad cause this sorta came out the blue and doesn't seem like her at all. Espeically the fact she doesn't want to work it out, so I'm sorta stuck here with no idea what really happened and really upset tbh.

That's it really. I know it's a tad long but thanks for listening though =).
   
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Re: Best friend left - March 29th 2009, 07:35 PM

It is very possible that her actions towards you are because of something that may be going on in her life. Perhaps she's having trouble at home, with school, or something else.

It doesn't seem to me that she simply grew tired of you, but ultimately the only way you'll ever know for sure is to see what happens. Give it a week or so, then try to see if she'd be willing to talk or give you a further explanation. If she isn't, then the most you can do is let it go and either try again or allow yourself just to adjust for the time being.

But be prepared to accept the fact that you may get no more from her than what she's already told you. Hopefully it will work out better than that, but it's an outcome to keep in mind.
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Re: Best friend left - March 29th 2009, 07:39 PM

Hi Dave!

Doesn't it feel better to let it out? Just talking about it can help!

I'm sorry you lost your best friend. I know that is a devastating feeling. It seems like she may have some problems that she isn't handling very well. She took it out on you. And she may not have realized that you didn't want this to happen to you again. It is odd since this isn't like her to want to work things out. That could indicate something could be really wrong. She chose to distance herself and remove herself rather than talk things through with you. She might think that's for the best, but all it has done it lost her her best friend and hurt him in the process.

Telling you that you were clingy was probably just her way of making it okay for her to leave. But she shouldn't have. I do hope things can work out and that you two can have a long talk about things and sort them out. Let her know how you feel and that you are there for her, no matter what! It's going to be all right and if you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate to PM me!
   
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Re: Best friend left - March 29th 2009, 07:40 PM

Hey Dave. :]

I'm very sorry to hear you've been having problems with your best friend. It's never easy when a friend lets you down, and especially when you don't really know what's after happening.

I would suggest leaving it just a little while, to let both of ye calm down. In maybe about a week or so, if she hasn't contacted you, go meet up with her and tell her you want a calm, mature conversation. You were her best friend, too, I'm sure she's missing you and is just as upset. Tell her you want to work it out because it's not healthy to leave things the way they are at the moment.

As for being too clingy. Maybe your friend just isn't he type of person who likes to be smothered by people, and sees your closeness as a threat. Talk to her about it and tell her your reasons again for needing to be ''clingy'' and that you don't mean anything bad about it.

I'm assuming she left you because something is going on with her right now, that she isn't handling very well at all. Some personal problem that has either clouded her judgement, or she doesn't want to worry you.

Just talk things through and listen to each other.

I really hope things work out for the best. Good luck.
   
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Re: Best friend left - March 30th 2009, 02:44 PM

Thanks for all your help guys. I'll talk to her soon after I've given her some time then.
I hope she does want to work something out but last time she kept saying how I'll get over it and that I should stop trying to hang on and accept that it's over =/.

Is there anything I should say in perticular you think?
   
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