Triggering (Bullying): Sibling Abuse?

[brokenwings]

All my life my relationship with my sister has never been very good. Though I feel now it is worse than ever. There is a huge age difference between us, I'm 16, she is going to be turning 22.
She was born with some learning disabilities, nothing too severe, but she has ADHD, which I have too, and has trouble retaining information sometimes. Growing up she was always really mean to me, and it's now that I'm in my teen years that I've actually started to fight back, however that seems to be worsening the situation.
There have been times when our relationship was okay, and I trusted her with some private information. (That of having an eating disorder, etc.) and she's turned around and used it against me in fights. Saying things like: "Why don't you go cut yourself?" or "shut the f*** up you anorexic."
Though what bothers me most is that she turns to using physical violence against me. If I fight back, she threatens to call the police. Tonight, she grabbed me by my ankle and dragged me off the couch. I tried to punch her in the arm because I felt attacked, but to be frank, I'm 5 feet tall, [Edited] and I play a lot of WoW and Skyrim so my punches don't exactly do a whole lot. I know punching is probably the worst way to handle the situation, but honestly I don't know what to do. She gets in my face and I feel really scared, and I literally feel like I either need to run or fight. Tonight she said that she was going to put on all her rings and punch me in the face as hard as she could. I'm really afraid of her. I hate coming home, I don't want to live in my house, I'm afraid, and nobody is really able to help me in my situation. My parents write it off as sibling abuse, and seem to believe I should know better since my sister has ALWAYS been like this. Since I went to my Mom tonight, things escalated further and now she's upset because I ruined her night and stressed her out. I don't know what to do. I want to leave home. This isn't just sibling rivalry. When I was a little kid, I used to be afraid that she would come in at night and hurt me.

[Chris.]

I just want to say that you aren't alone - I too have faced sibling abuse to some degree.

Really there isn't much I can tell you - so I am going to list your options:

1) You can keep going the way you are going and accept things as they are.

2) You can try to seek help; Counselors, Police, etc.

3) You can fight back.

4) You can leave home.

5) You can write a letter, or sit down both of your parents and have a heart-to-heart.

6) You can try to get past the fights, and start building a relationship with your sister.

Those are really all the options you have. I would first try #5. I think its time you poor out your heart to your parents and tell them that you no longer feel safe anymore - and you NEED things to change. NOT WANT, NEED. If after #5 things don't improve, then I would go to #2 or #6. For #2, hopefully a counselor or Police can talk to your parents for you - and address the problems that are happening. For #6, this is probably the hardest step, but to be honest, this is the best step. This will take alot of tears, happiness, sadness, effort, and love. Start inviting her out with friends, start going out to see that good movie, start going out to dinner, do things. Everytime a fight happens, Say I'm sorry and walk away. Build a relationship. It wont be easy, but it will be rewarding for the both of you.

As far as #1, 3, 4 - Those are options that I wouldn't use.

Please remember - no matter which option you will take, you guys will always fight. What matters is that you guys fight less, and not more.




Best wishes,
Chris