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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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I am an awful person. - February 8th 2012, 07:57 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't even know where to start with this. I..ugh..you're going to think I am a bitch, a horrible, selfish bitch.
I have a little sister who is the life of the party. She is always cheerful, she's popular, loved and very pretty. She also has an unpleasant tendency to lie, mainly about illness and injuries. She's always in hospitals for 'rare' injuries but she wont ever let anyone accompany her to doctors when she gets diagnosed. Even my parents agree that she has a weird love for people feeling sorry for her, and her injuries/illnesses only affect her when she doesn't want to do something, but are fine when she wants to go on holiday or something.

So. I've spent a long time with depression. I've been on every pill imaginable, seen counsellors, self harmed, attempted suicide. It's awful, I've been really, really low and I'm still struggling.

Last night, out of the blue, my sister said she was depressed. She said she had been far longer than me. And all of a sudden, she's horribly depressed. She's never said anything before, and now she's showing all the classic signs of depression.

I know I'm a bitch, and a horrible person, but I can't help but think this is another weird attempt to get sympathy. She's gone from being 100% fine to....this in 12 hours. She's pretty much quoted everythign I've ever said about depression...I just...can't get my head around it. It just seems to suit her needs right now, to have people giving her sympathy and waiting on her hand and foot.

Please, I know I'm an awful person. I just...feel like she's lying to us. Am I supposed to ask her about it? How do I deal with it?
   
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Re: I am an awful person. - February 8th 2012, 08:39 AM

Hey,
I don't think you're a horrible person, 1st of all.
Secondly, I think talking to her would be good. Just have a long and detailed conversation and ask her to speak out the truth. Communication can really work!
Hope everything sorts out. All the best! xx


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Re: I am an awful person. - February 8th 2012, 11:20 PM

<3 Your not a horrible person, and I know that people who act like that can't help but be annoying, and then getting angry makes you feel horrible (I have and had friends like that.)

You could talk to her about depression, and say it's not something to joke around with. -I've had depression and acted perfectly fine, but then again, I can bounce up and down without anyone really noticing because that's just me.

^^' Your not a horrible person, your human and people who lie about things like that are annoying.


I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times
That I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep
It's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave
   
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Re: I am an awful person. - February 9th 2012, 02:34 AM

I would sit down with your sister as a FAMILY and discuss her treatment options. Your sister may or may not have depression. I realize how upset you're feeling right now, especially given her history of lying about having "rare" illnesses... but perhaps all of that was done in an attempt to mask the real problem of depression. Perhaps she felt lonely, and in an attempt to gain love/sympathy, she faked being sick. Now, she may finally be telling the truth.

If she's NOT telling the truth, then that doesn't mean she's NOT sick - all of this could point to a different mental disorder, which would require treatment. Hypochondriasis could explain the obsession with illnesses. Histrionic personality disorder could account for the "dramatic" nature and desperate need for attention. Clearly, SOMETHING is going on here, and rather than writing her off as a compulsive liar, I would unite with your parents and try to determine what she really needs. Perhaps you could take her to a psychological professional, but instead of assuming she has (or doesn't have) depression, ask the professional to run a complete assessment on your sister.






   
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Re: I am an awful person. - February 9th 2012, 05:04 AM

How are you a horrible person hun? You aren't, its perfectly understandable that you'd think this is another one of her lies. She's done it enough, right? The thing is, when someone lies about depression and stuff, its best to treat everything like its the truth because you have no way of knowing till later if its true or not. And if it IS true and you ignore it, then things can get bad. But like the person above me said, just sit her down with you, mom, and dad and discuss whats going on.


   
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