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Name: Billie
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I'm in everyones way. - February 10th 2012, 02:35 AM

I can't handle this life anymore*


I recently found out my mum is having a baby I know I completely over reacted when she told me, I got tearful and I had a tantrum i know I'm supposed to be 17 so the next day I grew up a bit and got over it. She told her boyfriend who was happy about it I guess I have never felt all that comfortable when I have been with him and I try talking to my mum about it but I'm the one who's being stupid. Anyway the day after she told me we were all sitting down stairs and we joke about saying oh I'm going to kill you and stuff but he said he would kill me but not my mum or her baby but it was like he was trying to whisper that to her and it really upset me to the point I had to get my dad to come and get me.*


Everything is getting to difficult I told my mum that the reason I didn't really want her to have a baby was 1) because I would fell even more left out then I do know, she told me that it would never happen the second reason is because she's kinda old. I know it's kinda a selfish thing to say but anyway I kinda got over the fact and then he had to go and say that which upset me so much and now I know that it's going to be how I feared. I don't want her to get rid of it because she feels like she has to because I'm being selfish but I know I'm going to be unhappy living with it once again selfish. *Now more then ever I feel in my mums way she tells me I'm not but I know deep down if I wasn't around she would keep it in a flash.*


I was going to kill myself that night [Edited]. My mum keeps saying she doesn't know what she wants to do but deep down I know she wants to keep it.*


I love being at my dads but my sister and her boyfriend argue a lot it's like he's emotionally tormenting her, he keeps telling my sister he's going to leave her and that she doesn't love him but it always seems to be when someone else is getting the attention.*


I just feel stuck in the middle of everything I'm being selfish with my mum because I'm a horrible daughter and at my dads I have to listen to my sister be emotionally tormented by her boyfriend.*
*
I'm just in everybody's way.*

Iv just had enough. *I just want some advice!!*

Billie


One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.


Memento mori - Remember you must die

Memento Vivere - Remember to live

Carpe diem - Seize the Day


“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide

Last edited by PSY; February 10th 2012 at 02:40 AM. Reason: Removed drug amounts.
   
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Re: I'm in everyones way. - February 10th 2012, 04:12 AM

I don't think you are a horrible daughter. You have solid reasons why you don't feel lie a baby would be the best thing in you guys' lives right now and thats fine. But the thing is, this is your moms baby. So really, its totally 100 percent her choice what she does. I do think maybe you should talk to mom about how you feel about the whole thing, but I would also tell her that you aren't trying to make decisions for her, you are just telling her your counsurns. There's nothing wrong with that and that way, you guys can talk it out and hopefully feel better. I know it feels kinda rough and not so nice right now, but maybe once the baby does come, you'll feel better and actually like being a big sister. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think it may be.


   
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