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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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MissHoran Offline
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Name: Morgan
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Unhappy I don't trust people anymore. - February 12th 2012, 03:50 AM

You know when you meet someone and you can tell that they're going to be someone who is going to completely change your life? Well, I meet someone like that last year. Me and this person (T) became really close. Me and him would talk all the time about anything and everything. That was the first time I had ever felt genuinely happy in a few years. Well, we started to like each other a bit more than friends, but since we hadn't seen each other much we were waiting until school to start to do anything about it. So, school started and over the summer I had told my best friend (S) about everything. She was so happy for me and when I introduced her to him she completely approved. The first month or so of school was perfect. We still hadn't gotten together, but I figured eventually would. Then around September T stopped waiting for me in the mornings, stopped waiting for my Mom with me after school, stopped just talking with me. He was doing all those things with S (who, I'll admit had seemed like she was trying to get his attention from Day 1). It bothered me but I didn't pay much attention to it. In November, one day after school S was freaking out when she saw me. I overheard her and a friend talking about how someone had asked her out and S had said "no" when she wanted to say "yes." I asked S about it, assuming it was T (by now I had figured out she completely went against everything she had told me. How he liked me, how she wouldn't do that to me, how she was so happy, blah blah blah). When I asked she just said "Oh, my friend is having family issues." I went home sick that day. About a month later someone told me that I was the reason they weren't dating, they didn't want me to know. I freaked and talked to T about it who confirmed it. 3 days later they started dating. Neither one of them spoke to me. Last Saturday was the first time T had talked to me since December (only because it was my birthday). We got to talking and I found out he wasn't happy with S but he wasn't going to do anything about it.
I just made a huge jump in my story... I'm sorry.
Anyways, all my friends are telling me to move on get over it and everything but I don't know. They've never hung out outside of school (let me mention we're in highschool....) and they hardly talk. They don't kiss or anything either... so I don't know why they're together. I'm hurt because she lied to me, I'm hurt because he led me on.
I don't know why I'm still so broken up about it... maybe I'm just using it as my reason for being sad... but I'm not sure. I don't even know where I was going with this to be honest...
Sometimes I yell at them at lunch... say things I shouldn't say and sometimes I do stupid things because of it. Sometimes my Mom brings it up, which makes it hurt even more and... what am I still even talking about...? I don't know actually... I just wanted to let it out this time...

I'm sorry it's so long... if any of you read the whole thing... thanks.


"If I'm louder would you see me?"
   
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Re: I don't trust people anymore. - February 12th 2012, 05:37 AM

Hey, I know how you feel. Things will work out the way they're suppose to in time.
   
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MissHoran Offline
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Re: I don't trust people anymore. - February 12th 2012, 01:44 PM

I hope so.


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Re: I don't trust people anymore. - February 12th 2012, 10:01 PM

I hate to say this, and I really rather not, but this will happen alot through peoples lives (and I wouldn't doubt if it happen again over the next few years).

I often see (mainly females) destroy friendships over a guy, and than once the relationship falls apart, they become friends again and swear that they will never take a guy over a friend; which they end up doing later on.

Unfortunately, at the age we are at - its hard for us to maintain the level of a crush, and love. We often mistake a simple crush, for love which leads to us doing stupid things like going behind a friends back, dating someone who your friend likes and so on. People just don't think about the consequences, but think everything will work out in a positive way which simply isn't the case.

Now, I also think you need to move on. Trust me, the relationship between T and S will fail (atleast once). There is no question about that. Its just time to move on to a new guy, and not focus on the past which will hurt you. This is easier said than done, and I know that - but its the best thing to do instead of waiting around or being sad about something that you simply cant change.



Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: I don't trust people anymore. - February 15th 2012, 12:22 AM

I WAS IN A SIMILAR SITUATION LAST YEAR...ONLY I WAS THE BEST FRIEND.

THE TRUTH IS GIRLS ALL HAVE THIS COMPETITIVE SIDE. THEY WILL ALWAYS WANT TO BE A GUY'S #1 GIRL. THEY WILL ALWAYS WANT A GUY TO CHOOSE THEM OVER SOMEONE ELSE. THEY WILL ALWAYS WANT TO FEEL BETTER OR SUPERIOR TO OTHER GIRLS. THAT'S JUST HOW WE WERE MADE. SO THE SAD TRUTH IS, EVEN YOUR BEST FRIEND MAY STAB YOU IN THE BACK ONE DAY...JUST TO GET THE FEELING OF HAPPINESS AND SUPERIORITY.

SO AS I SAID I WAS IN A SIMILAR SITUATION. MY FRIEND WAS IN AN ON AND OFF RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GUY. TO BE HONEST, I LIKED HIM SINCE DAY ONE. BUT I COULD NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS TELL HER THAT. SO AFTER THEY DATED A FEW TIMES HE RANDOMLY ASKED ME OUT. ONCE I SAID YES, EVERYONE TURNED THEIR BACKS ON ME. I STARTED GETTING CALLED A WHORE, A BACKSTABBER, A SLUT, ETC. AND AFTER ME AND THE GUY BROKE UP....GUESS WHAT HE DID. HE WENT RIGHT BACK TO MY FRIEND.

SO I LEARNED THAT THERE IS NO POINT IN FIGHTING OVER GUYS. THERE IS NO POINT IN WANTING THE FEELING OF SUPERIORITY BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER GET IT. THERE IS NO POINT IN GETTING JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER BE THE PERSON YOU ARE JEALOUS OF.

SO TO SUM THIS ALL UP, YOU CAN'T BLAME YOUR FRIEND. GIRLS ARE NATURALLY COMPETITIVE AND EVERY GIRL WILL WANT TO BE #1 AT ANY COST. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. BUT I ALSO KNOW HOW YOUR FRIEND MUST FEEL BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN ON BOTH SIDES. GIRLS WILL STAB EACH OTHER IN THE BACK JUST TO GET AHEAD. THE ONLY ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU IS TO FIND BETTER AND MORE LOYAL FRIENDS....

GOOD LUCK!


"May I remind you of those little things. The small gems of life. Those little sparkles of happiness in which we find solace in. At times they're hard to see but just know they're always there, just waiting for you to reach out, see them, to embrace them and to enjoy them."
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
MissHoran Offline
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Re: I don't trust people anymore. - February 15th 2012, 08:37 PM

Thanks, the thing is she's the one who gained friends and everyone is looking at her perspective. I was the one who lost more people.


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