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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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RenjiGirl Offline
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Unhappy Should I Do Nothing? - February 16th 2012, 11:52 PM

I have this friend that i have been friends with for about 5 years, she has recently got herself a boyfriend. I have never liked him as when we were at school together he was on of the arrogant guys if im being honest... So anyway they started dating, obviously i cant say to her how i real about him as it isnt any of my buisness.

This is where my concern starts, when they started dating withing the first to weeks he started telling her that he loves her and so on when she finally started to say it to eachother with in the third week or so he started talking to her about sex, she started asking me when is there right time to have sex with your boyfriend, i said when you feel ready and you feel it right. i also went on to ask her that if he never brought it up would she have thought about it, she said no... So they have been dating for about three months now and she recently text me that she gets scared when he's angry, i told her she had to talk about it with him as it really wasnt any of my buisness. So she told me that he siad he would never hurt her as he loves her. He gets angry with her if other guys look at her and things like that. She told me once again that she is scared of him when he is angry, so i told her she has two options 1) to stay with him with that fear because you love him or to 2) To leave him and not find a relationship where your not afraid he might hit you. He's father has a history of being violant...

Well the other day i went out with an old friend of mine who also knows my other friend and her boyfriend. She share's the same concern that he is going to hurt my friend we spoke about it all then later that day we saw her boyfriend go up and down in the lift four times, me not liking in him so i texted my friend "why is you boyfriend going up and down in a lift his a bit odd" by the time she texted me back we had gone down the stairs and outside, she told me that he told her that he was at home, and she was telling me am i sure it was him like she didnt believe me, then she started to make jokes out of things, no i know for sure that i dont like him as my friend has a fear of him and he has lied...

Should I tell my friend what i really think or should i back off and ignore it, im not one of thoughs people who leave there friend when they need me but I'm also not one to forgive someone for thinking i lied.

Just need some advice....
   
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Re: Should I Do Nothing? - February 17th 2012, 05:08 AM

i think you have to tell her, that's what i would do. your concern is legit, i think you and your other friends should front your friend who is having problems. you should tell her how this situation looks like, what are you are afraid that would happen, and you should just calm her down and make her do the right decision. if you don't want your friend to be hurt, do something because it sounds that sooner or later something bad will happen with that guy. tell her she can't stay with a guy if she's scared of him!
   
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Re: Should I Do Nothing? - February 17th 2012, 05:21 AM

I think that if you are truly concerned for your friends well-being, then you should tell her what you think. I would just be careful with how you word things so that she doesn't take it the wrong way and become defensive. Though she might be upset with what you have to say anyways, it's always best to take a gentle approach when it comes to stuff like this. If your friend isn't willing to believe you and think you have lied...I guess you can't do much after that except for continue to be her friend and look out for her. Also, if your friend is afraid of what might happen when her boyfriend gets angry, you should try and talk to her about how that is a very unhealthy kind of relationship to have with anyone let alone her boyfriend. I hope things go over well with your friend!



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