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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Tapanga Paige Offline
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Good ol' days - February 22nd 2012, 02:21 AM

I remember when all my friends and I were into the same things. When we all had 10 o clock cerfew and spent our time playing rock band and eating junk food. I remember a time when all of my friends had morals that matched my own.

Recently all of the people I used to be closest to have either grown distant or become friends with a new circle of people. Neither of these things are necisarrily bad, however when your closest friends fall in with a crowd you wouldn't normally hang with what do you do?

Two of my closest friends whom I used to go to movies and terrorize walmart with have lost interest in having fun above the influence. I know we're teens and everyone does some experimenting, but I'm afraid of losing them.

On another note I'm also afraid of the pressure I feel to conform to whats going on around me in order to stay friends with them. I gave in tonight, I got high with one of them and a few others and I'm not proud but I can't say I don't understand why they do it. I'm worried that I'll become just as bad as they have, smoking everyday and using like its no big thing.

Does trying it after months of condemning it make me the worst friend/hypocrite ever?


<3 RAWR<3
   
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Chris Offline
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Re: Good ol' days - February 22nd 2012, 04:43 AM

If I have to say on a personal note: Doing this doesn't make you a bad friend. It just means that you want to do what you want to do. It does, however, make you hypocritical.


We all grow from friends - and chances are you will lose tons of friends over the years. We all take new paths, and go different ways.

Peer pressure is defiantly presented here - and you have to decide for yourself: Do you want to change to roll with your crowd of friends, or do you move on and make new friends with those people who don't do such things as smoke/drink etc. The Teenage years make no excuse for people doing these things - it comes down to what people want to do. People who don't drink and smoke are out there - because I'm one of them and all my friends are the same way. Sure, I still have Friend that drink and smoke, but I don't try to make it a habit of hanging around them when they are doing it. Sure I have best friends that do it, but they are more school based best friends - and my other best friends I hangout with outside of school don't take place in things like this.

The point is - YOU need to decide what YOU want to do. It comes down to your choice. This is something you need to think about. Lose two friends and move on to a healthier lifestyle (without smoking/drinking), or possibly keep these friends and take part in some of these actions.



Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Good ol' days - February 26th 2012, 06:05 AM

Your actually wrong about those previous days. Nostalgia is just a way e remember things in a false happiness, as if they were better. Its like an escape from how things are today.

I was popularish I guess, but I just stopped caring, and all my friends left me because i just stopped being like them. I dropped from the popular crowd. The i realized i didn't really have friends because they cared more for popularity than for their friendship with me.
   
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Re: Good ol' days - February 26th 2012, 06:22 AM

The best way to respond to this situation, in my opinion, is get into things that have to do what what you want to do; like Chris said. For instance, a crackhead isn't going to join a bible study group in a school, but then again I am not sure what they get into to find each other... they just kind of migrate together.
Finding something to be into (i.e. volleyball, band, tennis, choir, a church thing, local goat sacrifices, etc) will get you more involved with people; making it easier to find friends like yourself. If you don't want to be into drugs then join the band. I hear they drug test these days. Which I guess isn't true because then they'd never have drummers... (j/k). You know what I am getting at though.
Also, as for being hypocritical, or a bad friend... no. I do not believe this makes you so. In fact, I think it makes you a better friend. I have friends that are into smoking weed, but I am not going to smoke it to hang around them. 'They' say that you need to try something before you can have a reason to hate it. That stands true for many things, but be sure to draw a line. I am not saying to go shooting a gun around town while roller blading and on meth. I like to say I'll try anything as long as it is legal. If I don't like it, screw it. There are millions of people just in the US so it is easy to find people who are into the same things as you.
Like Chris said though, it is all up to you. Don't do things for other people or you will never feel like you've actually accomplished anything. Another rule of thumb: you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with others.


   
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