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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Not a n00b
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Name: Courtney
Gender: Female
Location: U.S.A

Posts: 61
Join Date: July 19th 2009

I feel like I don't have a life... - February 26th 2012, 12:57 AM

I'm 19 and my life consist of college, which I hate, and work. I feel like I don't have many friends and I'm sad and blah and lonely most of the time. I go to community college and I just can't seem to find people to hang out with. Everyone seems like they already have their own groups, just like high school. Between classes I usually just sit with a friend and her boyfriend but they don't really talk to me, they just sit on each others laps and kiss and whisper to each other. It's miserable. Other than that I don't feel like I get along with anyone at college. And during class there isn't any time to talk to people, you come to class, listen to the lecture, and leave. I don't get along with most of my coworkers, in fact I feel like most of them don't like me Even if I do manage to talk to someone at college or at work, it never equates to a real friendship, just small talk.

The only two close friends I have are dating and hes in the navy so I hardly get to see him. I'm really afraid that shes going to move away with him and leave me truly alone. I spend way too much time thinking about this. Plus that makes me a third weel to them.

I've never had a boyfriend either, and watching all of my friends be in happy relationships makes me truly sad, I want that so badly.

I just don't know what to do. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to make friends. I don't get along with most people, and I don't know why Even if someone does want to hang out with me I usually don't end up hanging out, and if we do its just awkward the entire time and that just makes me feel even worse.

Anyone else been in a similar situation. Anyone have any advice for me? I've been thinking that maybe I need some type of therapy...

Last edited by PSY; February 26th 2012 at 02:10 AM. Reason: Moved thread to the "Friends and Family" forum.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Dervisher Offline
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Age: 27
Gender: Male

Posts: 294
Join Date: February 18th 2009

Re: I feel like I don't have a life... - February 27th 2012, 03:05 PM

I know how you feel.

Honestly from junior high-school to graduating high school (technically this is my 5th year in high school. I failed a year and came back for more difficult courses) i've only had one true friend. This friend I met in grade 7 and we still get along well etc. The down side is he's in college, and has a girlfriend to occupy his time now. I see him maybe once every 6 months at most.

There are two people who I am currently considering as a friend. We've been talking to each other and hanging out for years now. Yes, I know this sounds ludicrous. But Dervisher, you've been spending your time with them for YEARS. They're your friends! No they're not actually. One of them I would have never talked to had it not been for my original friend accepting him into our 'group'. He is now one of the people who I have to explain to him that I don't consider him worth the effort of being a 'friend' to anymore.
The other person is slowly becoming a real friend of mine which is nice but he is also the kind of person who has 100's of friends who all want to see him, which results in getting very little time to see him either.

So in the end I essentially have nobody to talk to. Which is fine, i'm used to that. Been doing it my entire life. But it also reflects in how I talk to people, and how they judge me. How you said you think your co-workers dislike you, it's very possible.

When people (even my family members) first ask something of me, like say work 14 hour shifts each day. At first based on my attitude and how I talk they're expecting this to be the absolute worst decision they've made to hire me as a worker. Within 2 days i've already saved them HOURS of time and tonnes of money.

Same thing goes with interviews. I never GET to the working part of the job because they look at me and go: "Why the hell would we hire you?" even though i'm likely 80% better than the workers they currently have, even while i'm learning on the job.

It all comes down to either being a little social butterfly, or being that big ugly catterpillar who chose to do their own thing instead of becoming a pod like the rest of the group.
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effyfrost Offline
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Re: I feel like I don't have a life... - March 13th 2012, 02:29 AM

I know how you feel as well. I'm in my first year of college. I went away to a four year school last semester but I didn't make as many friends as I would have liked and didn't like the school for other reasons so I left and am now at my community college for the semester. I dont have anyone to hang out with at community college and am applying to other four year colleges for next year because I dont know how i would spend another year at community college or how I would make friends there. The friends I do have are from high school but they all are away at college most of the time and they never really understood me in the first place so I feel very alone most of the time. I am currently trying to decide whether to follow my high school friends to their college or pick a new one and hope I make my own friends but risk having no one. I often feel like people just dont like me. Its tough. You are not alone. Im here if you ever wanna PM me or talk
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
misscreativegal Offline
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Name: Brittany
Age: 29
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Join Date: March 19th 2012

Re: I feel like I don't have a life... - March 19th 2012, 10:40 PM

You are not alone in the way you feel. Many people are in the same boat. I recommend becoming involved and looking at other places to make friends, such as teen events at the library, volunteer opportunities, or extracurricular activities at school. These are great avenues to meet new people. Also, whenever possible, find time to engage in activities you enjoy. We all sometimes can use a mental break from the stressors of life and it helps to shake off some of those feelings of stress and sadness by doing something we enjoy, even if just for a bit.
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