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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Kind of lame, I know. - March 3rd 2012, 05:13 PM

So, my 2 best friends (for about 6 years now) are like, the perfect friends. I can spend all day with them and never get bored. We've all helped each other out when the other was in need.

It's just...

They never invite me to stuff. xD It's really not a big thing, they ask me to hang out all the time. But like, if they have a party or something, they always forget to invite me. And it's been going on for 6 years now. I've brought it up to them, and they did seem genuinely sorry.

But.

One of them is having a party tonight, and they didn't invite me again. Has anyone been through something like this?
   
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Re: Kind of lame, I know. - March 3rd 2012, 08:16 PM

Yes I have been through this. I don't think that your friends are doing this intentionally. I think that maybe they just are use to seeing you in one setting - and maybe cant picture you being at a party. I know that I in fact have a big friend base, but I will only hangout with people I feel necessary for that setting. If I'm going to a party - then I invited my 3 friends. But now If I'm going out to the movies, or to mini golf or something, I bring a totally different set of friends. All personalities are different - and sometimes (unconsciously) we automatically pick those we want o be with for that day/environment.

Like I said, I don't think they are doing it on purpose. If you want to talk to them again about it - then go for it! I also think that maybe you should have a bigger friend base, so that you don't have to reply on going out with these friends as much! If you have a few groups of friends, maybe alot will change, who knows!



Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Kind of lame, I know. - March 3rd 2012, 08:45 PM

It's like, I have a lot of friends, but they aren't the kind of people I'd call up and hang out with, you know?
   
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Re: Kind of lame, I know. - March 3rd 2012, 10:11 PM

Well in that case, those friends that you are on a more professional base with - you need to build up the friendship! Start talking to them more, call them up once in awhile. Build up the friendship - and things will go alot smoother and you wont be stuck/focused on one group of friends!


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Kind of lame, I know. - March 3rd 2012, 11:44 PM

IDK, Dylan, but if my friend told me he felt left out I'd make sure I was making the effort to include him, I think that's pretty much part of friendship. If you directly told them you feel left out and gave them very specific instances..which they acknowledged...and they continue to do it, you might assume it's not so much that they're 'Forgetting' or 'Unintentional', but that maybe there's a reason for it. And, you might want to address that part now directly, "Hey, We talked about me feeling left out and you continue to not include me, like on Saturday. Why?".

The types of things you're not included in sound like interpersonal stuff like parties and such..any reason why they wouldn't include you? Do you mix with the other people there OK? Is there a history of anything that could account for their exclusionary behavior?

If you can think of anything (or any situations) which might cause them to react by excluding you, that would need to be addressed by you, too.
   
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Re: Kind of lame, I know. - March 4th 2012, 03:01 AM

The ONLY thing I can think of, is one of them is kind of self conscious around ladies, and I'm perfectly okay around them. So he might not want to seem so awkward by comparison.

But..hm... I guess I'll just have to talk to him.
   
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