TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Solivagant Offline
Previously Apple of your eye
I've been here a while
********
 
Solivagant's Avatar
 
Name: Suv
Age: 23
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,871
Blog Entries: 33
Join Date: January 9th 2011

I don't know how to handle Mom :/ - March 4th 2012, 11:07 AM

Okay so my mother found about my SH about 2 months ago through my school counselor. And then about 2 weeks ago, we were both sitting and had a chat during which she made me show her some of my cuts, recent ones. And made me promise to her that I won't do it ever again.

I broke the promise. I couldn't even keep it for 2 days! So now I have unhealed bruises on my arms and I've been waiting for them to heal so that I can remove my jacket. Its getting hotter everyday and I just can't keep wearing it for long. Especially because she knows that I have 0 tolerance for summer. She did ask me today about why I am still wearing the jacket and made an excuse "Its a bit cold, if I remove the jacket I feel cold and if I wear it, I feel hot so I just switch on the fan" and she accepted it

So the jacket is going to come off in another 2-3 days and there are some pretty nasty scars. And I don't know how to handle her when she notices them. First she'll shriek, " Did you harm yourself again?!" While pulling at my arms violently and scrutinizing them with a horrible expression That alone is enough to make me shut up and not reply to anything again and wait till she is done eating me head. It will be followed by "I'll do it to myself in front of you and then you'll realize how I feel about you doing this." That is what she has been saying to me ever since she found out.Blackmailing me And it is really irritating that instead of trying to understand my actions she has already assumed that it is a stupid thing to do and I need to stop immediately. That is why I don't try to explain myself. And the blackmailing makes things worse. Because instead of helping me it makes things worse. And makes me not speak a word in my defense or explain things to her. Its like, she makes it all about her. Especially when she goes "Now you handle me when I go mad seeing you go mad like this."

ARGH, how do I handle her when she sees the scars?



"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
blumemusik♫ Offline
~Savvy?
I've been here a while
********
 
blumemusik♫'s Avatar
 
Name: Kate
Age: 23
Gender: Girly
Location: Liverpewwwl, UK

Posts: 1,183
Blog Entries: 127
Join Date: June 18th 2011

Re: I don't know how to handle Mom :/ - March 4th 2012, 12:14 PM

It might be easier just to tell her up front. I don't really know what your relationship is like with your mum, but try saying something like "Mum, I'm really sorry, I messed up. Don't get mad, this is really hard for me, but I've not hurt myself in x days, which is definitely an improvement on how I used to be."
Then, she'll get mad, but just let her blow through it. She'll get over it again, it'll be fine.

Maybe you could try having your psychiatrist talk to her? She obviously doesn't understand the reasons you self harm and how you really can't stop, so why not just get someone who she WILL listen to to explain to her?

This is why I don't want my parents knowing :P

I'm here for you, remember our deal! :P <3
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Solivagant Offline
Previously Apple of your eye
I've been here a while
********
 
Solivagant's Avatar
 
Name: Suv
Age: 23
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,871
Blog Entries: 33
Join Date: January 9th 2011

Re: I don't know how to handle Mom :/ - March 4th 2012, 07:27 PM

So mommy noticed We had a long chat, or well she was doing the monologue and I was sitting there being stubborn and not saying anything. I just don't have the answers to her questions and when I tell her that she goes, "How can you not know". So I decided to stay shut. It ended with me telling her that fine I want to go see the doctor and I will talk this time. And she is like " If you wanted to see the doctor more frequently you should have just told me". And like I wanted to go buy a journal from the market today, and I used the excuse of wanting to go buy some stationary for the math Final tomorrow. She ended up sending dad for it and I didn't get the journal today again. For which I got told "Why didn't you tell me something so simple like that. We could have gone to get it."

But really, I don't know how to tell anymore. Every time I used to tell, I got ignored. Now I don't tell stuff like this to anyone. I am just scared all the time that they wont respond anyways or will judge me or something like that. I am not telling even the simplest things to her or my friends or anyone!

Even today when I tore those pages to get my anger out, which by the way felt good. It is like the first time in my life that I didn't keep my anger inside me. But when mom/dad saw the bits of pages they went "Whatever did you do that for?!" in a not-so nice tone. I really don't want to tell anyone anything before. They make assumptions first and then ask me why I did it later.


I don't know where this post is going now Since she found out about the SH.




Quote:
Originally Posted by asthenophobia. View Post

This is why I don't want my parents knowing :P
You and I are having a chat real soon.



"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Last edited by Solivagant; March 4th 2012 at 08:13 PM.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
handle, mom

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.