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They Won't Change, But I Have To? - March 4th 2012, 09:10 PM

So I attempted suicide about two weeks ago. I've actually learned a lot since getting out of the behavioral health hospital. Coping skills, how to think better of myself, and all that good stuff. I'm on Abilify now, and Lamictal. It's doing a tremendous job. I've turned my life around, but my family is still the same. Mom's a controlling stupid bitch. She still thinks I'm gonna kill myself. My sister is a brat and thinks everyone still has to cater to her.

I had to change to better myself. Family was a factor in my attempt. they need to change so that I have a better place to go to. It's only because they were a factor.

What do I do?
   
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Re: They Won't Change, But I Have To? - March 5th 2012, 01:54 AM

I would write a letter to you parents and tell them all your feelings. Tell them that they are causing some sort of pain that led to you wanting to commit suicide. They need to know that they are not making your life easier - but yet are causing you to have a harder time at having a better life for yourself. If you don't think they will listen, then talk to your school counselor or therapist, and have him/her tell your family how you feel - they may believe it even more. The fact of the matter is, if you don't communicate to anyone, then nothing will change.

You have changed enough. You have done so much for yourself, and you need to Cherish that (but at the same time still keep going). But you also need to understand that although you can control some aspects of your life - friends and family are things that you cant change, but you can atleast communicate to them your worries, thoughts, and opinions and hope for the best.



Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: They Won't Change, But I Have To? - March 5th 2012, 02:50 AM

I think you might need to separate your sense of well being from what they do.

Yes, it would be great if they could see and appreciate their part in your unhappiness. And yes, you should bring this up with your doc and see if s/he can involve them in treatment and help them gain that perspective. But...

..in the end, you need to be more self directed here, to disengage from the stuff they're doing so it doesn't derail you so much..and control your feelings so much.

I know, that's a tall order, especially when you live with these people. But, that's why you have a therapist to help you.
   
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Re: They Won't Change, But I Have To? - March 5th 2012, 07:33 AM

You should look at it this way. You attempted it recently, so of course your mom is just being careful! She was probably shocked. I bet she loves you very much ^^;.

Don't think of it like "my mom STILL thinks I'm going to commit suicide"

Think of it like "My mom cares about me enough to be more cautious"

Know what I mean?
   
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Re: They Won't Change, But I Have To? - March 5th 2012, 07:43 AM

Your mother probably is looking out for you given that the suicide attempt was quite recent, so her behaviour seems justified. Could you give an example of something your sister has done? Part of the issue is whether your family is aware they were a factor in the first place and the degree to which they affect you. I think your mother would be supportive given she is uncertain what she should or should not do, so it would be beneficial for you to help resolve the uncertainty. As for your sister, how did she react when you attempted suicide, as that can be very telling of how you should proceed? The majority of the change comes from yourself because it's unreasonable to expect your family's behaviour that affects you to change so it no longer affects you. It's also your responsibility to get them involved in your therapeutic process and perhaps have the psychiatrist and/or psychotherapist share information with at least your mother.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
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