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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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What can a guy do? - March 10th 2012, 03:35 PM

My best friend is in a horrible relationship, and it's really bad

I don't want to just outright say to him "She suuuuuuuuuuuuucks" 'cause, that'd be kind of rude.

But, I'm with the kid like...23/7, and whenever she is brought up, he like shuts down and isn't happy.

So how can I tell him that he seriously needs to move on.

I sometimes play songs like this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNoXeq9D7WE and I think he is smarting up about her. But, It's just lame, 'cause I love the kid, and he's sad.

They've been dating for 1 and a half years.
   
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Re: What can a guy do? - March 10th 2012, 04:53 PM

Well see, this is a tricky situation because if you intervene to much - he may get defensive, and your friendship may have complications. I think the best thing to do is lightly mention it when the subject gets brought up, and simply ask him if hes happy with her, and for him to be honest. Tell him that you want to give him your opinion, which is that she isn't the right girl for him. Thats really all you need to say, and he will understand that you don't support that relationship, and you think that she isn't the right kind of person to date him. It will also make it noticeable that you can see hes unhappy, and sad.

After you talk to him about it, there really isn't much you can do other than support what he wants to do. I know its sucks to see your friend unhappy, and you don't want him to be in that situation, but really the main thing you can do here (besides talk to him) is to just let him know you are there.



Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: What can a guy do? - March 10th 2012, 06:07 PM

First, has he been unhappy with her the entire time they've been dating? Or is this a recent thing? It's common for people to hit rough patches with their relationships... we can't be 100% happy with our partners 100% of the time! If this has only been going on for a few weeks/months, I'd give it more time. If this has been the case for the majority of their relationship, I would speak up.

Like Chris said, you have to proceed with caution. You don't want to be the friend who broke the couple up... they'll both blame you for their relationship ending, instead of owning up to the parts they played in the relationship ending! I like Chris' suggestion of just asking, "Are you happy with her?" If your friend says, "Yes," you can say, "It sure doesn't look like it to me. Want to talk about what's been going on between you two?"

If he doesn't want to talk, don't push him. Chances are, he's very much aware of the problem, but he doesn't want to admit it and/or change the situation at this point in time. As painful as it may be to watch your friend suffer, you need to back off and just "be there" as his friend. Let him come to the decision that he deserves better on his own. Telling him he deserves better when he's not mentally ready to end the relationship will just cause problems with you and your friend, or with you and your friend's girlfriend.






   
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Re: What can a guy do? - March 10th 2012, 07:13 PM

I'll take you two's advice into mind when I talk to him Thank you.
   
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