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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Angry My ex best friends making my life living hell? - March 11th 2012, 06:58 AM

So, I used to be best friends with these two girls. We were like inseparable... Until some girl came & stole both of them away from me. My boyfriend's cousin is one of my ex best friend. I met him through her, she forced me to talk to him & stuff. I've been dating my boyfriend (ex best friend's cousin) for a little over 6 months. Anyway, since we had that fight, she hated me & my boyfriend. Okay, so new years day. I talked to her, I told her we'd have a deal, no more holding grudge, no more hating etc. Just plain strangers who don't know eachother. So it did happened. Anyway, there's this rumour going around about me getting fingered by my boyfriend at a bus stop (People from his school started it because they hate the fact that I'm dating him.). Which is pretty stupid because his house is like 5 minutes away. I mean, why would we do it at a bus stop where everyone could actually see us ? Common sense right ? :/ people are so stupid. Anyway, she told people that apparently it IS TRUE. Now everyone from my school hates me. I moved schools for a while now I'm coming back to my old school tomorrow. Yes, I do have lots of other friends. But it's really not cool. I mean, she told me, that 'My life is so much better without you, It's ashame you have to go back.' & I just told her to go f*ck herself. How do I deal with these things ? I started cutting again, I cry myself to sleep. She's trying to turn everyone against me. I want this rumour to stop, I want everyone to think I'm a normal person not some slut. Sorry this went a little longer than I thought it would. But yeah, any advices please ? x.


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Re: My ex best friends making my life living hell? - March 11th 2012, 07:25 AM

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about rumors. I've had rumors spread about me, and you can either spend all your time freaking out and trying to disprove them, or you can carry on with your life and let the comments go. "The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter." Yes, I understand you want to be seen as a "normal" person by everyone, but that's just not realistic. You're always going to meet people who won't like you, for the silliest of reasons! Rather than letting it get to you and cause you to self-harm, be strong and keep going. The more you react to this rumor, the more "freakish" you'll seem to everyone, and that will just give them more material for rumors.

It seems like you've done all that you can to make amends... so at this point, I would avoid her completely. Don't talk to her, not even to defend yourself (saying "go f*ck yourself" probably wasn't the best idea). Pretend she no longer exists. Don't give her the satisfaction of riling you up, and don't give her more material to use against you. What's important is that your boyfriend is taking your side in all of this - I imagine he's probably in a tight spot, having to walk the line between supporting you and pacifying everyone he knows at school.

By the way, I can guarantee you that there are people in the school who do NOT hate you. It just SEEMS like everyone hates you. That's a common assumption people make when they feel backed into a corner - the whole world is out to get them. That's not true, though. While some people may believe the rumor, I promise that there are people who either haven't heard the rumor, or have heard the rumor and rolled their eyes/laughed it off. Be yourself, and you'll find it's possible to reconnect with old classmates. Act like you have to prove yourself or be "on edge," and people aren't going to feel comfortable around you.






   
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