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I am the total opposite of their expectations... T_T - March 13th 2012, 03:39 AM

i am 16 1/2 years old (moving out in 1 1/2 years) and all i can say that i am nothing like how others expect me to be.
i've lived in North America (USA) for 13 1/2 years in my life and my home country for the remaining 3 years. because of my race, people expect me to follow the customs and whatnot and to be very patriotic. problem is, however, when i lived in my country i had a lot of problems with people because i didn't fit in at all and was discriminated against for being american. i can't relate to the culture at all (food, music, customs, traditions, religion, etc) because i was born and raised in north america, so obviously i would be adapted to the north american custom. a lot of people judge me and say that is my hometown and i should follow all the customs. even relatives say that i should be just like them and expect me to follow up with them. i feel like a relate much more to my north american friends than friends from my race because that's just how i grew up, being exposed to their customs and opinions and so on. i feel neglected because i have people from my race on my back continuously judging me and expecting to forget totally about north american culture and to have all my focus on my homeland. now i know that i had lots of problems with my home country when i lived there, but that doesn't mean that i should start hating the race! i just feel like there is no connection whatsoever between me and my race/homeland. everday i can't wait to move out and live on my own because i would live my life according to my own beliefs, and i'd be far away from all these people judging me. i wish my parents knoew that this is how i feel, but i am afraid that they could got mad OR they might not understand me. once a relative asked me which place i prefer, north america or my home country, and i said north america and this relative got disappointed and said "but it's your hometown!"

now i am getting the true, deep, emotional feeling that north america is my hometown. i was born here anyways and lived here for 13 1/2 years and i'm going to live here for another 1 1/2, making it 15 years of my life here, while the other 3 years in my hometown. even my parents haven't raised me to be just like the people of my race and gave me freedom of choice by saying that i can do whatever i want and believe in and follow whatever i want, but i feel they still want me to feel attatched to my hometown.

how do i get this pressure of my shoulders? when i imagine myself in 1 1/2 years on my own, thing will be totally different. but i still want people to stop judging me this way and to give me a break, because it's really pressuring me and i can't take it anymore.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, how do i get my parents to accept me for who i am?
thanks ...
   
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Re: I am the total opposite of their expectations... T_T - March 14th 2012, 11:10 AM

Hmm... well, you reference North America and your home country as being different. To me, it seems like they are the same. North America is your home. You associate with it most closely, you fit in better, speak the language, etc. etc. and apparently your parents just expect you to jump back into whatever country you came from's customs without skipping a beat. Well, it may not be so easy but you could try communicating with them the fact that is really isn't that easy for you to adapt like that while simultaneously trying to learn more about your country of origin's customs and traditions and trying to fit in a little better. That way everyone wins, right?

I hope things work in your favor.


"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"

-Richard Safreed

"Civilize the mind, but make savage the body."
   
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