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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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FuturesEnd45 Offline
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Unhappy She never wants to hang out - March 15th 2012, 10:28 PM

Ive known my best friend since we were in 3rd grade and shes been my only true friend my whole life. Ive been trying to hang out with her all 2012 but shes always busy with rehersals and singing ( i dont mind that shes very involved in singing ) but i mind when she says she cant cause she has other friends to hang with and she gets upset if i get upset. I really miss her and since im homeschooled i barley see anyone anyways. Im scared once colege starts for us ill never see her again and i just want to hang with her it makes me really upset. Should i just keep asking her till shes free? Should i try talk to her about it again? i just want my bestfriend :c
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: She never wants to hang out - March 16th 2012, 04:50 AM

Sadly we sometimes move on, and we sometimes grow away from other friends. It sounds like yes she is busy, but also that you guys could be growing away from eachother, which there isn't anything wrong with that. We will all lose friends eventually.

I think you should keep asking her (not to often though). Ask her once every few weeks to hangout, and if she keeps saying no or that she is busy, then you eventually have to accept that and then try to make new friends and move on. Don't put all your effort into one friendship, because thats how you will get hurt. You need to get out there, join a club, sport, etc, and build some friendships so you aren't so dependant on her and so you can also grow as a person. It wont be easy, but it will be worth it.


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: She never wants to hang out - March 16th 2012, 05:58 AM

Hey ,
I'm sorry that things haven't been well. As Chris said, people do find new friends eventually and get busy. No matter how sad it sounds, it's the truth. Yeah, you should keep asking her but not too much. Ask once in a week, and if she doesn't reply positively then let it be. If she is a good friend, she'd realize her mistake and come back.
And do try participating in other activities to meet new people and possibly make some new friends.
As Chris said above, it won't be easy but it'd be totally worth it!
Stay strong!
PM/VM me if you ever wanna talk. xx


All we can do is Keep Breathing...!

   
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Re: She never wants to hang out - March 16th 2012, 06:33 AM

I cant make any new friends im homeschooled injust feel so alone
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Re: She never wants to hang out - March 16th 2012, 11:44 PM

I understand you can't make friends through school because you're homeschooled, but surely there are other ways to meet people. I have several friends who were homeschooled, and they met friends in their neighborhood, through church, clubs, volunteer events/opportunities, etc. They lived in a rural town - not a whole lot to see or do - but whenever they did encounter people, they gave it a shot and waited to see if friendships would develop over time. And, of course, there will be plenty of opportunities to meet people at college - assuming you actually look for people and opportunities to meet people. I'm not saying all of this to be mean, or to say, "You're not trying hard enough," but I AM saying that it's not hopeless and you don't have to be alone. If things can't be salvaged with this one friend (which I hope they can be!), then you don't have to settle for a life of solitude. Get out there and meet people, even if it's just for a few hours on a Saturday/Sunday when you're at a club meeting or volunteering with a non-profit organization.






   
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Re: She never wants to hang out - March 19th 2012, 09:56 PM

As much as we try to prevent it, often times, things get in the way that pull friends apart. Some friendships are worth fighting for, but it takes two people to make the friendship work. You should talk to your friend and tell her exactly how you feel, whether in person, through e-mail, phone, or even a letter. Tell her how you understand she is busy, but it hurts that she makes time for her other friends and not you. Explain to her that you are worried about losing her and just want your best friend in your life, even if it means hanging out for an hour once in awhile. You should also try to meet new people, whether it be other teenagers in the neighborhood, other children who are homeschooled, etc. There is a whole world out there and you do not have to feel alone. Many people would be lucky to have such a loyal, sweet friend like yourself.
   
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Re: She never wants to hang out - March 19th 2012, 11:08 PM

It seems she has become less interested in maintaining a friendship with you whereas your interest hasn't budged. Her other friends likely are not home-schooled, giving them greater opportunity to socialize. I wouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater because I doubt she has lost all positive feelings for you, so as hard as it can be, socialize with other people, whether it be through sports, volunteer work or something else. I'm not sure if you consider this as something positive but at university or college, you will have a great opportunity to socialize and make friends. When I went to university, several of my friends had to move on residence while I attended a different university. We didn't sever all friendship ties since we would routinely get together once or twice a week on the weekend or Friday to hang out, however, in the mean time, I made quite a few friends at university. Remember, those at university or college are in the same situation you're in, they had to briefly part ways with some of their best friends so they're seeking new friendships.


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Re: She never wants to hang out - March 21st 2012, 06:18 PM

Hey there. I just wanted to tell you that perhaps you could tell your friend how you feel and how her actions make you feel. I know it's hard to make friends when you are homeschooled, but you can look in other areas for friends. Do you have a church home? If not find one and I gurantee you will make a new best friend if your old one doesn't come around. You could join the YMCA, and meet lots of people your age. Don't let what your friend is doing to you bring you down and make you feel alone. If you are close to your parents talk to them so you don't go down a lonely path. Get out there and make some friends, it may require coming out of your comfort zone but I promise it will be worth it when your phone is going crazy with all your new friends. You can message me if you want to talk some more.
   
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Re: She never wants to hang out - March 22nd 2012, 09:07 AM

Friends come and go but real friends stay forever. No matter how busy they are.


   
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Re: She never wants to hang out - March 23rd 2012, 08:49 AM

i just wanted to say she invited me to visit her at work on monday and she made sure she waitressed my table and stuff. she was really excited and bubbly and says she cant hang cause of school and vacations but i think if we get to hang out soon im gonna talk to her about it face to face.
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