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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Kaira~00 Offline
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Am I overthinking it or is this friendship all about her interests? - March 27th 2012, 05:50 AM

I'm sorry if this is too unimportant to put here;; but I have a slight question/trouble/etc. about a friendship.

So, I'm friends with this girl. Every day, we talk together. She's very nice and she's a pretty good friend.

But I feel that sometimes, when I talk about something that's bothering me/making me very proud/literally making me cry, she doesn't really care.

Am I overthinking, and if I'm not, what should I do?
   
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Chris Offline
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Re: Am I overthinking it or is this friendship all about her interests? - March 27th 2012, 06:01 AM

Well thats not much information you gave us.

However, It could be two things:

1) She actually doesn't care - in which case you should find a new friend because a friendship (just like a relationship) needs to have effort and care from both involved for it to be successful and work.

2) You are over thinking it/looking way to much into her actions and words. This happens alot, where we like to share our problems or accomplishments, however we feel like the person doesn't accept them ore want to listen to them when in reality they ARE listening, however simply don't have the right thing to say, or the right way to act.


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Dr.Bobby Offline
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Re: Am I overthinking it or is this friendship all about her interests? - March 27th 2012, 05:57 PM

Expectations.

You're expecting something from her that is very personal, an ability to understand and then respond to your emotional needs. That should be a part of any relationship, but that also takes two things: The first is time together, the type of intimacy you're wanting evolves slowly over time. The second is ability. Some people are better at the types of emotional responsiveness you're looking for than others.

What to do? Stop seeking something either the person or the relationship cannot offer, and see with time if that doesn't change.


PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
   
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