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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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wondrouz Offline
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A problem with friends...I need help! - March 30th 2012, 10:00 AM

I am currently in Form 2. and I'm part of a friend group with five people me included.
At first it was only me and this girl, girl A.
We met because our parents knew each other so when it was the start of secondary school we just started being in a 'group' in school. At first it was pretty rocky because we did not know each other well and we had nothing to talk about...Then gradually we became good. Gradually our group grew to five people. This year we choose to seat together.
In the first few months things were really good. But in this period everything changed.
She started being 'emo' and moody most of the time. When we were together in our friend group she is okay, playing around as usual. But when we're in class, sitting together, she becomes moody, and keeps on doing her work. Before, after the teacher has finished teaching, and we have completed our classwork, we'll talk and have fun. But now she just works and works and basically ignores me...Only once in a while that she'll change and be cheerful...
And I can't vent this to my other friends, because they don't understand. Only I get the chance to see this face of her, and I'm really troubled......
And one serious problem in our friend group now is a lack of topics...excitement. We'll sit together at lunch, during PE lessons, and still we are silent most of the time. Everyone seems to not be in a mood to talk and moody and this is having a real bad impression on me......
There's also one friend in my friend group, lets call her B, she joined our friend group only this year and only because she sits behind us. Last year she was in a different class. She's nice, but she sticks and hangs on people! I understand that she wants to be accepted and the only ones that are more familiar with her in the whole class is me and A, but it annoys me! She always hangs onto people, every second, if it's not me it's A. And because of that me and A just can't seem to get some time alone, together, to talk about things like before. It's okay to hang out together, but when she sticks around, no matter where you go, no matter it's lining up to the lab, PE lessons, practicing for the Price-Presentation Performance, always her tagging behind. Hanging out is nice, but sticking around every second in the daily eight-hour-school-period is really tiring......
I really need help...I feel tired...What should I do?
   
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Chris Offline
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Re: A problem with friends...I need help! - March 30th 2012, 09:36 PM

Well first off - with your friend changing and with the social activity decreasing (not that may conversations going on) - unfortunately friends change. Its life. You will lose, and gain new friends left and right. It seems to me that this is whats happening - you are all just kinda growing apart from one another (which is normal).

Your best option is to just stick it out and see where things go. Start talking about new things, give ideas, build the friendships up more. However if after you do all that the friendships still seem to be going downhill - then don't try to force something to improve if its eventually going to diminish. So if you find that nothing will improve, then maybe try to find new friends.

As far as this girl who likes to cling. I think we all know/have someone who does this. They may do this due to lack of confidence, or past problems (family, friends, relationship problems). She may also be doing this because she feels she has no one to talk to, or no one cares about her. In all honesty, you have a few different things you can do:

1) Just deal with it and try to be accepting of the clingyness.
2) Try to distance yourself from her (but please note that she will probably find someone else to cling onto).
3) Find a new set of friends.

I think that there is so much going on in your life right now, that you simply feel confused, tired, and just fed-up. I think you ought to take things day by day, and try to be more accepting of situations you may not be able to change.

I'm always here if you need someone to talk too or if you have anymore questions.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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