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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Spikey Offline
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Unhappy Baby Brother - April 1st 2012, 07:34 PM

Hey,

So, I have a five month old brother at my dads house and I go to my dads house every other weekend.

Basically, every weekend I go down there, my little brother cries whenever he sees me. My dad and stepmum say it's because I have long brown hair and he doesn't like people with long brown hair. Well, my hair's not long, it's just past my shoulders and I get the colour from my dad, who is now turning grey, and my five year old brother has brown hair too, but it's about 2cm long, and my baby brother doesn't seem to mind it. His mum had blonde hair and I have no idea where the fear of brown hair came from. Apparently he has the same problem with one of my stepmum's friends, who has also got brown hair, but I have never seen him cry when he sees her.

It makes me wonder if it's just me, but why should it be?

It usually takes him about a day to get used to me, but I'm only at my dads for two days! It just really upsets me when I can't even sit near him because he begins to cry when he sees me. I always play with him when I first get there and he's always weary of me and occasionally cries even when I play with him.

I just don't know what to do!

Thanks for reading!
Molly.


And she turns up the music, to drown out her life.

22/12/2014 was the last date I self-harmed. The longest I have gone so far is 1 year, 2 months and 5 days. This time, I hope I can give up! New record: 1 year 6 months! Yay!!
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Kibska
   
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Re: Baby Brother - April 1st 2012, 08:14 PM

Your dad and your step mum are just messing around with you. Children don't hate hair colours. They don't think at that age about hair colours.

Last edited by Cassie999; April 1st 2012 at 08:41 PM.
   
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Re: Baby Brother - April 1st 2012, 09:06 PM

Then what is it?


And she turns up the music, to drown out her life.

22/12/2014 was the last date I self-harmed. The longest I have gone so far is 1 year, 2 months and 5 days. This time, I hope I can give up! New record: 1 year 6 months! Yay!!
Previously:
Kibska
   
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Re: Baby Brother - April 1st 2012, 09:12 PM

Some babies would cry at me when I had long black hair, they just don't know how to react to certain things. All you can really do is let him get used to you, which will be difficult as you only see how every other week for two days at a time, but as he gets older and his memory develops he'll start remembering you.
   
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Re: Baby Brother - April 1st 2012, 09:12 PM

I highly doubt that he is crying because you have long brown hair. In fact, I don't even think they can process that correctly and then learn to hate/dislike it.

I also believe that your dad and step mum are messing around.

I think that maybe your brother isn't use to you. Like you said, you only have 2 days to be with him, and it will take ALOT longer for him to get use to you than just two days. If he cries, don't worry to much about it. As he gets older, he will mature and grow fonder of you. It will take time.



Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Baby Brother - April 1st 2012, 09:15 PM

Ok. Thank you!!


And she turns up the music, to drown out her life.

22/12/2014 was the last date I self-harmed. The longest I have gone so far is 1 year, 2 months and 5 days. This time, I hope I can give up! New record: 1 year 6 months! Yay!!
Previously:
Kibska
   
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Re: Baby Brother - April 4th 2012, 04:50 AM

Actually, I have heard of babies being fearful of bald men - it doesn't make sense, but it happens! The more likely explanation is that your baby brother is fearful of strangers in general. This is a normal milestone in a baby's development, which is usually reached around 8 months of age. Since your brother is a good deal younger than that, it's even more likely to be basic separation anxiety - he doesn't want to be with you because he'd rather be with mom or dad! Since you're not around all the time, you are, in his mind, still a "stranger," and it's going to take a while for him to adjust to you every time you visit. Your baby brother could also be inherently shy or just downright "fussy" (some babies cry over every single little thing that makes them even slightly uncomfortable!). The bottom-line is that this isn't your fault. The bad news is that there's probably very little you can do about it. The good news is that, with time, you'll develop a relationship with your baby brother, and as his mind matures, he'll recognize that you're a good person in his life, not a "stranger," and that you can be trusted and loved.






   
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Re: Baby Brother - April 4th 2012, 05:57 AM

It wouldn't matter if you got a pink mohawk, you explained the issue in your first post. You are not around your baby brother all that often, so of course he's weary of you, he has no idea who you are. He's not weary of your mother, father and your mother's friend because they are each around him a fair bit. Think about it, if you were at school and someone came up, being very friendly, intimate and open, but you had no clue who they were, you'd be weary as well since you would perceive them to have ulterior motives. As the person stays around and get to know them, they'll be a familiar person rather than a creepy stranger. Your baby brother is going through the exact same thing.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
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