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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Stuckinhell Offline
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Friends leaning on me too much. How do i tell her? - April 1st 2012, 10:26 PM

So i've a good friend. Known her since i was like 3 years old, and she's like a sister to me.

We normally talk about everything. She knows i'm going through a hard time at the moment, struggling with depression, anxiety, uni stress and other stuff. But i tend not to like to talk about it.

She's recently started feeling depressed, and sleeping around without protection.

She calls me up several times a week, and talks about how angry/scared/upset she is.

I try to be tehre for her, and don't let it show. But i'm really finding it a struggle to support her.

I feel really guilty as I want to be there for her. But i can barely hold myself together at the moment.
How can i tell her, without hurting her? Like i still want to be here for her. But theres nothing i can do.

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Re: Friends leaning on me too much. How do i tell her? - April 2nd 2012, 12:09 AM

Consider taking issue that causes her depressed and solving that. Which probably was a boy she was after? Doesnt seem doing things without feelings would solve that, more likely that would cause more problems.
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Re: Friends leaning on me too much. How do i tell her? - April 2nd 2012, 12:43 AM

I would say you need to be honest with her. You can't give up your own health just for the sake of your friend's, no matter how much you care about them. Maybe suggest that she talks to a counselor. And maybe you should try the same.
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Chris Offline
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Re: Friends leaning on me too much. How do i tell her? - April 2nd 2012, 01:01 AM

I would say: just give her your ear. I know you are going through a rough time, but no one is saying be a super hero and rescue her - all she really needs is someone to listen. So, once you listen to how things are going in her life, share how things are going in your life.

If you just confront her and tell her you cant really help her and are going through a tough time, I think she may pull away from you (which would affect your friendship). I also think she would not express her concerns/problems with you anymore, which would limit communication within the friendship leading to a decline.

So your best bet, is to just listen, maybe give alittle input, and then express how things are going in your life. Friends support friends through the tough times, and sometimes those times are both at the same time. Work through these things together - and in the end, everything will work out.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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