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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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So does being a failure mean I'm a criminal? - April 15th 2012, 05:05 PM

This is my first post ever on a forum/site like this. I have to seek help online because in real life there's none who can understand me truly.
I'm in India, and living in this place from last 11 years. But I never got real close friends in school. I always got above 90% marks every year and I never felt proud for that. I was nice with everyone; in fact I spoke nicely even with those who insulted me! Everybody knew my nature; but I wasn't part of any group.
Then in classes 11th and 12th I couldn't study well.I made many mistakes repeatedly, didn't attend classes and ultimately fared bad in the Entrance Exam for Medicine and Engineering. There was a second chance but I chose to do a poor B.A. And all my buddies and classmates took admissions in Engineering or Medicine colleges in distant cities. I missed them so much.
Since then I slowly began to experience that I'm worthless for them all now. They hesitate to make a contact with me. They've never liked any post I made on facebook. They all hate me. But why? I never did anything bad to them. I'm badly hurt. Yes I failed; but I'm still a nice guy. Then why this?
Do you people think I should forget them? Thanks for reading!
   
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Re: So does being a failure mean I'm a criminal? - April 15th 2012, 08:01 PM

Hi there welcome to TH I personally think that your academic performance has nothing to do with your friendship. You mentioned that your friends moved to distant cities for college, so maybe they're just busy with their classes at the moment.
I was really busy as well during my college years and could hardly catch up with my high school classmates who went to different universities; well honestly even with those who went to the same universities as me but different majors. I hung out with my new classmates and they hung out with theirs.
If you really miss them, instead of waiting for them to text or call, why don't you try to contact them first and ask how they are doing.

Although you might not like it, this kind of situation does happen all the time when people graduate from high school. It's not that your friends hate you but they moved on from high school life, grew up, found different peers, different interests and hung out with different people as well at their new places.
You might as well start to find new friends to hang out with nowadays. This doesn't necessarily mean that you need to forget your old friends, you can contact them every now and then, it's just you need to start your new college life too and grow out of your high school life.

Good luck!


Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition. - Alexander Smith

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life. - Herbert Otto




   
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Re: So does being a failure mean I'm a criminal? - April 16th 2012, 12:39 PM

Thank you so much Felis for your reply. And what you said is absolutely correct. I can't expect them to contact me by themselves. I had complained of those who were in regular contact with me-on phone. And they don't reply if I text them. Don't speak well when I call. And they never liked any photo in which I had tagged them.
But enough of being nice now! I have some nice close friends and even if they're away from me, they keep encouraging me. So I won't even think of these proud fools.
And as to my current college life....it's in poor condition. And I'm facing a great confusion now. I'm gonna post it in another section on this site.
Thank you so much for your kind words....
   
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