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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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abbiekadabbie Offline
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Question My mom and my living situation - April 17th 2012, 12:36 PM

Okay so im not sure if this is where i should post this but i dont know where to so im just going to post it here.
My mom has been sick (low blood pressure, kindey issues, hemoglobin issues, diabetes, bowl issues) for almost four years now (shes in a wheel chair now) and recently she broke her knee so we moved in with my grandparents for the time being. The house that i used to live in was in really bad shape and needs to be cleaned up before my mom and i can move back in. My sister has already moved out and my brother plans to move out as soon as he graduates. This would leave me alone with my mom. that means i have to do all of the cooking, cleaning, yard work, laundry, and on top of that i'm going to have to take care of my mom and still put effort into school and i had also planned on looking for a job at the start of next school year.
My mom and i have talked about options, one being moving into an apartment but we wouldnt be able to do that for a couple of months. another option that was suggested was assisted living for my mom and then i would stay with my grandparents until i went to college.
I have tried telling my mom that i dont know if i could handle all of the responsibility that would come with moving home or into an apartment. It seems that my mom isnt taking into consideration that she wont be the only one effected by moving.
Any ideas on good ways to get my point across that i dont know if i can handle all of the responsibility?
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Re: My mom and my living situation - April 17th 2012, 04:27 PM

Abbie, I just answered your other post, and my advice here is the same with this situation: Get your grandma to intervene. She seems to have a pretty good handle on things, and she can help you.

If your mom is as incapacitated as she seems, she's going to need a lot of very professional/medical/nursing help, which you are unqualified for...as well as the unfairness of it, it's really an issue of your mom's needing professional levels of care from multi disciplines.

Talk with grandma about this and let her work with your mom/her daughter about getting the care she seems to need. And remind her you want her to make that call for you about therapy.

PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
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Re: My mom and my living situation - April 17th 2012, 06:30 PM

I agree with Bobby. You're 16 years old, and I think it's important to recognize your limitations. Your heart may be in the right place when it comes to taking care of your mom AND taking care of the house AND keeping your grades up... but that's an awful lot to expect from you. I think talking to your grandmother, and perhaps some other family members, would be the best thing to do. You need to decide as a FAMILY what is best for the FAMILY - not what's best for just your mom or just you, but for everyone. In this case, having an older family member move in to help out, or having your mom live somewhere else where she can receive the necessary medical care/assistance, would probably be the best options. Having a 16 year old in charge of caring for a sick parent, running a household, and keeping their grades up, is definitely not ideal.

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