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Death, Grieving and Coping With Loss Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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I'm upset. - July 23rd 2021, 02:00 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My friend killed herself Wednesday, I am hurting. I'm not talking a lot, don't know how to be ok. Haven't told my parents or sisters.


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Re: I'm upset. - July 23rd 2021, 03:44 PM

Hey Emmie,

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Dealing with the death of someone you care about is always hard, and I can't imagine what you're going through right now knowing that it was suicide. It is completely normal to not know how to feel okay again right now. Cope with this in your own way because it tends to hit everyone a little bit differently. If it helps, spend some time with your pets to distract yourself, or maybe do something creative to take your mind off of the bad things you might be feeling. You could dance for example.

It's also a good thing to talk when things like this happen. If you feel able, maybe tell your family, and discuss this friend with them. You could talk about memories you shared, or funny things your friend said. If you're not ready to do this yet, that;s okay too. Maybe you could write something out for yourself, such as a poem or a story based on something you did together. I've found that writing letters to people is helpful too.

I hope you're doing okay. Look after yourself.



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Re: I'm upset. - July 23rd 2021, 03:55 PM

I'm sorry for you loss.

That's true. Don't close on yourself, that's really hard, but try to discuss about it with someone you trust. It will help you to go over it.
   
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Re: I'm upset. - July 24th 2021, 05:38 PM

Hi Emmie,

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you. I feel like you should reach out to your family and sister in regards to what has happened as they will be able to support you. Please always remember, we are here for you as well. Please reach out to us if you need to talk. You are strong and will get through this.



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Re: I'm upset. - July 25th 2021, 06:39 PM

Many years ago, Robin wrote a great article on grief which you can find here.

I would definitely consider at least telling your parents. Grief affects us in so many ways. Let's not forget that anger can be one of the many faces of grief. Your parents may not understand the change in your behaviour or why you're less than your usual self. It would be good to try and chat with them and let them know a friend has passed away and that you're not sure how to deal with it just yet.

If you're not sure how to tell your parents and find telling them verbally to be too much, you could consider writing them a note or email them. Perhaps even a text message.

I know you may not want to feel like you're going to burden others and that you may wish to keep all of how you feel to yourself, but bottling up these sorts of emotions can be quite dangerous. Allow yourself to feel, let your parents know, and allow them to be there to support you. If you need me, never forget that you can PM me at any time.


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Re: I'm upset. - July 26th 2021, 09:38 AM

Hi there,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. The only thing I can say is that I'll always be here if you wish to talk.


   
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Re: I'm upset. - July 26th 2021, 06:02 PM

Thank you so much for your help.


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