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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
J&M's Mommy Offline
Formerly SilasLove:)
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Name: Kala
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Missouri

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Join Date: January 6th 2009

1 Year Today - April 7th 2009, 09:25 PM

Today marks the one year anny for my friends death. Its hard to believe its been one year already, even though that year has been a rough and amazing year for me and my life. They are holding a candlelight vigil for her and the boy who died with her in the car crash at 8pm. I am scared to go, because I am afraid it will just make those old wounds feel fresh again. If you know what I mean.

Of course I am going though, and I am happy to go. Happy to remember her, not that I have forgotten her once since her death. I think of her everyday. She was such a smart and wonderful girl. A truly great friend. Ugh, I really miss her.

Single Mommy since July 2011
Joseph, 4 and Madelyn, 3

my back-to-back babies are 1 year, 1 week and 1 day apart.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
noise94 Offline
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Re: 1 Year Today - April 7th 2009, 09:51 PM

Hey Kala. :]

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. I know it must be devastating to lose somebody like that!

I know there's nothing I can say to make your pain go away, but I just wanted to let you know that you're a really strong person. And I admire you for having the strength to go the vigil.

Just hold on to all the amazing memories you two had together. You were very lucky for the time you had with her, and I know it's awful that she's gone, but remembering her is the best you can do!

I hope everything goes well at the vigil.

Take care. <3
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
x_muse Offline
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Re: 1 Year Today - April 7th 2009, 09:55 PM

Hi Kala!

I am so sorry you lost your friend. It must seem a bit surreal to have not had her with you a year, but I know she would be so proud of you if she was here! You are so strong and will continue to be! I think it is a wonderful thing that they are having a candlelight vigil for her and the boy who lost his life as well. Those wounds may try to come back, but they are not to hurt you they are to remind you of the wonderful friend you got to know and love! It's terrible the world had to lose such a smart and wonderful being! But the world was so lucky to have her as long as it did. And I know you must miss your friend so much! That vigil will be a good way of showing your love and support. And how much you will never forget her and she will be a wonderful part of your life! *hugs* Hang in there! I know she would want you to!

If you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate to send a message my way!
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
BrittneyNicole Offline
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Re: 1 Year Today - April 8th 2009, 05:33 AM

I am so sorry for your loss of your friend. It's always hard, losing someone so young, and it hurts even worse when it's someone close to you. I lost my best guy friend 10 months ago today and it still hurts more than anything. I can't go a single day without missing him and thinking about him and wishing he were here on Earth with me, so I can totally relate to how you are feeling.

It takes a strong person to be able to pick up the pieces and continue on after a tragedy like that. I know that your friend would be super proud of you for continuing on with your life and making yourself happy. Remember all of those good times you had with your friend and don't ever forget those memories.

I admire your strength for going to the vigil. I haven't been able to bring myself to go to the burial site of my best friend. Maybe you could bring a friend with you to the vigil for support? I know that when I go to the burial site of my best friend, I will bring a friend with me for moral support and a shoulder to cry on. Just remember, crying is okay and in times like these, I think it even helps let some of the pain out.

Stay strong, okay? My PM box is always open if you need someone to talk to.

"You've just been B-Wildered." -Brian Wilson <3
Trumpet love; Tenderlips.

"Where there is love there is life."- Mahatma Gandhi

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
hunny365 Offline
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Re: 1 Year Today - April 9th 2009, 09:58 PM

i8'm so so sorry for your loss if theres anything i can do please pm me
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Re: 1 Year Today - April 12th 2009, 02:09 AM

Hey Kala,
You know, I'm dealing with some fresh wounds from a death, too. Someome very close to my heart, my mother actually. Her death was four years ago and not today, but another event has made me realize how much I put off dealing with my feelings. I think we can really relate to each other, so if you ever need to talk, PM me anytime. Heck, I even have TH alerts on my cell phone. (: Just let me know.

- Jess.

Baby, there's no gettin' over you.

Take my heart as you head for the door;
I won't be needing it anymore.

Because when it comes to balls, bigger is better.

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soul Offline
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Re: 1 Year Today - April 12th 2009, 07:51 PM

Hey Kayla,

I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy to lose someone and anniversaries can be an especially hard time. I hope you found some comfort being around people who shared your pain over this loss at the candle light vigil. Is there anyone you can reach out to and talk to who also knew your friend? Sometimes banning together over a common hardship can help you get through the tough times. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone who you trust. Even though this past year has been rough for you I'm glad there have also been amazing parts. Try to hold on to the good memories. I know what it's like to lose a good friend. You are not alone and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me anytime. Take care and hang in there.

Lots of love <3 Mimi

As long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.
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