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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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liberty9331 Offline
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My best friend - March 8th 2013, 04:31 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Two days ago, my parents and I had to put down our 14-year-old dog. He had been sick on and off for about a year, but two days ago when we took him to the vet, I wasn't exactly expecting to have him die there while I was watching. He had been having seziures, he had recurring cancer, and his liver and galbladder were poisoning him. I was expecting my mom to say that she wanted surgery for him. But instead, she said she wanted him to be put to sleep. I had a panic attack and could hardly breathe. My heart literally hurt and I thought I was going to be sick. They put him down and I thought I was going to die too. We got him when he was 6 months old. I was 6 years old. He's been my best friend for most of my life. And now I can't believe he's gone.

It's been two days, but I still can't stop crying. I can hardly eat. I'm on edge and nervous. It's killing me. It hurts to breathe, and I just want to feel better. Why am I grieving so hard? I feel like I lost my brother, not my dog.
This pain is too much for me and I'm having trouble just waking up and doing everyday things. I'm freaking out because if I'm THIS much of a mess over my dog, I'm terrified of how I'll be when my mom, or dad, or grandmother dies.

Please help me. I can't live like this.
   
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Chris Offline
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Re: My best friend - March 8th 2013, 06:20 PM

Hi Libby,

I know exactly how you feel. When I was a few months old, my family got a very young German Sephard (he was a few months old aswell). I grew up with his dog (Cody). Cody protected me 24/7, and I had a bond with him greater than any friends, or family. If my brother went to chase or attack me, he'd get bit. If I decided to go out for a run, Cody went with (without a leash, because I knew he'd never go to far away). Around age 12, I went to bed on the couch, and Cody was sleeping across from me as he always did. I woke up the next morning, called him over, and he didn't move. I went over to him and he was stiff, but his eyes remained open, and they were staring at the couch I was sleeping on. Cody died watching over me. The next 4-6 weeks were the hardest weeks of my life (far harder than when some of my relatives passed away).

Losing a pet, is just as hard (and sometimes harder depending on the relationship you have with them) as losing a family member. Our pets are our family - and we usually grieve just the same. The next few weeks will be hard for you, but I know you can get through it. When Cody died, I made a huge poster full of pictures of him, and that has always made me feel better being able to have atleast something to look at in memory of him. Sometimes I swear that I hear his bark, and it could just be another bark, but I'd like to think that he still is doing what he always has done: watching over me.

Stay strong, and feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: My best friend - March 11th 2013, 07:33 AM

Hey Libby.

I get what you mean as well. Shortly before I was born my family got a cat, and we had him for about ten years (he was already an adult when he came to us). It was incredibly hard to watch him get older, and to see his body start shutting down. Towards the end we had to take turns holding him and feeding him because he was too weak to do it himself. It took me months before I could even bear to look at a photograph of him after his passing.

Pets are family, like Chris said, so it's natural to be feeling the way you are. Just remember that these feelings are perfectly natural, and part of the grieving process. Don't try to rationalise it and say 'he was just a pet' or tell yourself you shouldn't be feeling this bad. He was an important part of your life for a long time, so of course you're going to miss him and have trouble moving on without him. One thing I found helpful was (when I was ready) talking to other people who knew him - sharing stories, photos, memories. Remembering the good times can help you get through the loss. The other most important thing is time. It sounds cliché, but it works. It may not be soon, but one day you'll be able to look back on his life with a smile, instead of being blinded by tears because of his death. So give yourself time, and let yourself grieve. You'll get through this.

Take care.


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then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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