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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Mary-Eldern Offline
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Name: Maria Eldern
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My sister died - April 3rd 2013, 08:29 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

It's been just few weeks since my sister died from the stroke. I found her dead on the floor of her bedroom one morning. It's hard to describe what I felt, calling her by name, shaking her shoulder, trying to feel pulse on her throat and crying all the time... still remember how scary it was.
My life is empty since then. I can't stop tears when thinking about this. And my mother, she didn't say a word still and regrets help from anyone. Just lying on the bed and doesn't eat anything, drink very rarely. I'm really afraid, one day I'll find her dead like my sister, that's why I'm even afraid to call her or come to her room after I wake up. I live like in nightmare. I don't know what to do with my mother and I'm about suicide. Please, someone, help. Just advice, how I can help my mother right now, when she doesn't accept anything? I beg you, hear me, I feel very bad.

Can't live with that anymore. I wanted to get help, but I'm still staying alone. Farewell, everyone. Forgive me for disturbing you. Farewell.

Last edited by Chris; April 3rd 2013 at 06:38 PM. Reason: Combined with previous post
   
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Re: My sister died - April 3rd 2013, 03:44 PM

You both clearly need some serious counseling on this subject, which can't be easy.
May I suggest that you start here:

http://www.counselling-directory.org...reavement.html

It won't bring her back, but it might allow you to understand what's happening. And please, no more 'farewell'. You're worth more than that x


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Re: My sister died - April 3rd 2013, 05:15 PM

Hey Maria,

I hope you're still with us. Suicide isn't the answer. I can't even imagine the pain you and your mother are going through, but although you won't forget your sister, at some point you're going to be able to remember her without this much pain. You're going to be able to think of the good times you spent together, and all of the things about her that made you smile. You just have to hold on until you get to that point.

It's normal to feel sad. It's normal to struggle at a time like this. Please, reach out for help, and encourage your mother to as well. There are people who can help you. Grief counseling might help, spending time with friends and family might help. Let other people help you, because there are people who care.

Take care of yourself.


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Chris Offline
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Re: My sister died - April 3rd 2013, 06:48 PM

Hi Maria,

I'm extremely sorry to hear about your loss, and to also hear about the environment in which you live. I can kind of relate to feeling helpless for a parent. My dad went into deep depression (which is what your mom seems to be going into right now), and he refused water, refused food, and would lay in his dark bedroom all day, everyday. Eventually things got bad, his physical health decreased, and so did his emotional health. So, we forced him to go to the hospital, in which he got help, and in which he started two years of counseling. He's better now, and although I don't know the cause of the depression he had, I'm sure it wasn't easy to live/deal with.

I don't have a magic solution that I can give you to force your mom to get better, but I think if you go in her room, and tell her you're scared, and tell her everything you told us, and offer her some solutions (like counseling), that maybe that will be a good start. Tell her that she needs to do it for you, because you can't lose he; you need her.

As far as you go, I think you need to also seek out counseling, or atleast someone who will be there to listen. Losing someone is not easy, and coping with the loss is sometimes even harder, but it has to be done.

I want you to take care of yourself, and to stay strong; because from what you told me right now, it seems like your the one holding the immediate family together (especially your mom). Stay strong, my friend.


Best wishes,
Chris


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Re: My sister died - April 3rd 2013, 11:30 PM

Hiya love, I'm so sorry to hear about this, I can only imagine you must be devastated. I think the others are right, counselling would be a very good thing to look into if you're feeling like this. The links provided were good. Know that we at TeenHelp are always here to talk whenever you need us as well. Stay strong. x


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