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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Unhappy RIP Grandma - April 5th 2013, 01:46 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So, I just lost my grandma on Sunday. She has had four heart attacks since the night before thanksgiving. I'm confused about what I'm feeling inside. The part that really annoys me is that my other grandma keeps asking me how i'm feeling about it because I attempted to do something that I shouldn't have done. The part that annoys me about that is because she keeps making me feel worse then I already do by asking me all these questions that she knows will upset me. I'm also mad at my Grandpa because he said that he'd keep me updated on what was happening to my grandma and he didn't. I guess the real reason that I am posting here is to get my feelings out about what happened. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel all lonely, confused, sad, upset, mad, a whole mixture of feelings all at the same time and I don't know what to make of any of it. This is my first time loosing a family member who is really close to me and it's a whole lot harder then I thought it would be. I know I need help, it's obvious I do. But the thing is when I was growing up I was taught to hide what I was really feeling by my mom and step dad. I'm really clueless on what to do right now. Help Please???


I'll miss you grandma more then you'll ever know. I know your being taken good care of. I will never forget you.
5/20/1950??-4/1/2013
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: RIP Grandma - April 5th 2013, 01:58 AM

Tell them how you're feeling. Don't bottle it up.
- Collies R Us


"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
   
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Re: RIP Grandma - April 7th 2013, 06:55 PM

Hi! Ok, so I won't be that much help because the last time I lost a family member was in 2004, and I was only 5 so I didn't know him that well. But I'll try to help anyway! First, please don't hide what you're feeling. Maybe you should hide it from your mom and stepdad, because that's what they told you to do, but you should tell a friend, sibling, or another adult. I get those types of suggestions all the time, but never use them because none of my friends are good to vent to, but maybe yours are different. Second, if that doesn't work, try venting to a journal. That's pretty much been my life lately, and it works very well when you want to say what you feel to someone, but don't think that your parents, friends, etc would understand. I'm sorry that I can't be much help but those are my suggestions. And I'm sorry for your loss
   
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Re: RIP Grandma - April 9th 2013, 03:26 AM

First off, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I wish I had a magic formula to make you feel better, I would give it too you. Unfortunately we all experience a loss (or several) over the course of our lifetime. Some of the people are very close to us, and some aren't; but they are usually all hard to move on from. Sometimes we think we are prepared, but we really aren't. I don't think you can really 'prepare' yourself for the ambush of emotions that happen when the person actually does pass. It's tough.

I think as you said, you need someone to talk too. Someone to let all those feelings out (because it's not healthy to keep them in, and even sometimes, in severe cases I have seen those emotions/feelings actually effect the psychical health of some people who refuse to let it out). So talk to someone. It could be a school counselor, or a outside-of-school counselor (maybe one that even specializes in loss and grieving); but whoever you talk too, I think it will help the situation and position you are currently in. It defiantly cant hurt.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk/vent.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: RIP Grandma - April 9th 2013, 04:48 PM

My condolences to you and yours Ivan. It's always tough losing a loved one, particularly trying to cope with the weeks that follow. My best piece of advice; don't isolate yourself from those that care. Share your feelings whenever you need to. Allow yourself to go through the stages of grief. You'll have good days and you'll have bad days, but I assure you, you will learn to cope and feel better in due time. For now, don't be afraid to allow yourself to really feel these emotions and try to make sense of them. Please feel free to PM me at any time if you need to share any experiences.
   
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