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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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darkdreamerxxx Offline
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Unhappy Grandad - April 21st 2009, 02:05 PM

I am the worst person in the world, I truelly am. My grandad passed away at the age of 99 in December and I never felt a thing. When my dad knocked on my bedroom door and called out the news to me ( my mam was down the country and with him when he died) I just felt nothing, it was a strange numbness. It just didn't feel real . I still haven't cried once, which landed me onthe alter to do a reading because I was so "together". Am I bad person? I do care. I just don't feel anything.
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Re: Grandad - April 21st 2009, 03:23 PM

Hi there, Alison. Welcome to the boards. Glad you could make it here. [:


I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather, Alison. Two of my grandfathers have passed away, and though I wasn't very close to them, it was still just a little bit tough. I can't even fathom the moment I hear the news about my third, and closest, grandfather. Anyway, though, enough about me. (: No, I definitely don't think you're a bad person for reacting the way you did - not in the least. Different people react to things differently, you know? So, while someone else might've been crying their eyes out, you just felt a numbness. It's not something you can help OR something that says anything negative about you as a person - it's just what it is.



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Re: Grandad - April 21st 2009, 03:34 PM

My mom wasn't pleased,, she just said it was because i was young and i care more about other things

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Originally Posted by Katrina View Post
Hi there, Alison. Welcome to the boards. Glad you could make it here. [:


I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather, Alison. Two of my grandfathers have passed away, and though I wasn't very close to them, it was still just a little bit tough. I can't even fathom the moment I hear the news about my third, and closest, grandfather. Anyway, though, enough about me. (: No, I definitely don't think you're a bad person for reacting the way you did - not in the least. Different people react to things differently, you know? So, while someone else might've been crying their eyes out, you just felt a numbness. It's not something you can help OR something that says anything negative about you as a person - it's just what it is.


PM me! I'm nice. Really! Don't believe what those faries say!!
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Re: Grandad - April 21st 2009, 04:10 PM

Thats not true ok i felt this numness when my granddad died and i though something was wrong with but no there wasnt now that im older and i think about him i cry my eyes out because i couldnt do it at the time you are dealing with the pain your way not by crying and what your mother said is wrong and just stupidity (sorry) but its the truth im a mom and i would never say that to my kids if you need to talk im always here pm me
   
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Re: Grandad - April 22nd 2009, 08:32 PM

Heya Alison,

You're not a bad person at all! Different people react differently, and it also depends on how close you were to them. I didn't cry when my grandad died but I cried when my Nan died, it's all different. There isn't a set way of how to react, just do whatever feels natural to you, it doesn't mean that you don't care.

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Re: Grandad - April 25th 2009, 09:07 AM

Hey Alison,

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It doesn't make you a bad person at all. Sometimes it takes awhile for everything to sink in. It took me over a month to cry about my good friend's death. No one says you have to rush this. Cry when you're ready or don't cry at all. Do what works for you. Try not to let what your mom says get to you. She is going through a hard time right now. A lot of the time when people are under stress they say things they don't mean. If you think it would help you can always explain to her that you are having a hard time coming to terms with what happened. You mentioned you don't feel anything but I don't think that is accurate. I really think you are trying to bottle up or hide from your true emotions. This isn't going to help you in the long run. Maybe if you talk to someone about everything then it will stir up some of the feelings you are suppressing. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you. Hang in there and maybe it might help you to try and think of something you can do in memory of your Grandad. Take care and PM me if you need me.


Lots of love <3 Mimi



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