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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Viper1996 Offline
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Callum's Story - July 31st 2013, 10:08 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My best friend Callum committed suicide a few years ago. We knew each other through our dads, they were both part of some club and had common interests, they both hurt us, we were fighting together.

We were each others rock, but a few months before his death, he pulled away from me, he started to use drugs and drink, he began to self harm more, rather than the thin cuts he usually did he started to cut deeper and they took a long time to heal. He wanted to die, he slashed his wrists vertically, he took an overdose and placed a bag over his face, but not to the point he couldn't breath (we think he may of passed out before he could fully get it over his head), by the time his dad noticed, his system was already poisoned from the overdose. Two days later Callum Mitchel ******** (I'm not allowed to put his last name) passed away, the doctors said between the blood loss and the drugs in his system, Callum just wasn't strong enough to pull through. The doctors examined his body and found several signs of abuse, the one what stood out to the doctors was that Callum had scarring around his anus and genitals, when confronted, Callum's dad admitted to abusing Callum, physically and sexually.

I miss Callum a lot and people don't understand how much he meant to me. He was my brother, we fought together and even though he pushed me away towards the end, I know he did it to help me, because he was trying to make it so I didn't hurt as much when he left. I was angry with Callum at first, because he left me behind, I tried several times to kill myself to join him, but everyone prevented that, am I glad? I'm still not sure, but I'm no longer mad at Callum, I realized my anger was misplaced, so I started to get angry at his father and my father, they made his life hell.

I love you Callum and I hope you rest in peace xoxox

Please if you know someone who is being hurt, help them, don't let their story end like Callum's did. Don't let them become a victim, fight to make them a survivor.

Thanks for reading.
   
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Re: Callum's Story - July 31st 2013, 01:24 PM

I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. At least he is in a better place now. I know what it is like to be abused by somebody you trusted. I was abused by my neighbor for several years and nobody knew. I fought my way out of the situation and I know you can too. Hang in there and stay strong!!!!!


Life goes on. People move on. It'll be okay.
   
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Re: Callum's Story - July 31st 2013, 01:33 PM

Really sorry to hear about your loss, Callum sounds like an amazing and a really strong person. I hope your ok, don't do anything you regret. I'm always here if you want to talk, thanks for sharing your story.






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Re: Callum's Story - July 31st 2013, 03:55 PM

Hey

I'm really sorry for your loss. As others have said, he was a strong person. Anyone who goes through something like that is a fighter. I'm glad none of your attempts to die succeeded because you seem like a wonderful person who can eventually make it out of the other side. Live for your friend; keep sharing his story because you can make awareness and make a difference Hang in there, okay?


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Move the body, quiet the mind
   
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Re: Callum's Story - July 31st 2013, 04:18 PM

Thanks and yeah he was really strong, I'm just sorry that I couldn't of helped him more, I mean I was in a bad situation myself, but when we were together, he took so much of the beatings for me and took the attention himself rather than me getting it. He was a good person, he wasn't perfect, but he was a good person.
   
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Re: Callum's Story - July 31st 2013, 05:28 PM

I am really sorry to hear about your loss. This is a really strong story that alot of people could benefit from, & I'm glad you had the courage to share it. Keep your head up, and keep pushing forward!

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk/vent.


Best wishes,
Chris


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Re: Callum's Story - July 31st 2013, 07:12 PM

Keep your head up, sharing a story like this could help a lot of people.
I'm sorry for you loss, it will get easier in time
Keep remembering them, memories, times you had together.
   
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Re: Callum's Story - August 1st 2013, 01:47 AM

Thank you for sharing this story! I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this, he seemed like he was an amazing guy. Keep your head held high, he's right there fighting alongside you.


Let it come and let it be...

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Re: Callum's Story - August 1st 2013, 02:31 AM

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, and I personally believe that God (Allah, I'm Muslim) takes people away from life sometimes because they would be better, they would be in a better place. I know it sounds cruel or whatever but that's what I think, he's in a better place, and he's looking down at you from a better position than he was in before .

I also know that anger is one of the normal parts of the grieving process, so whenever you second guess your right to be angry at his father or your father, than think about that, and know that it is OK to be angry sometimes, and feel sad sometimes, it's natural and it makes you JUST as strong as you were before .

Sorry for your loss, .


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~My Childhood Friend.
   
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Re: Callum's Story - August 3rd 2013, 08:55 PM

Thanks. Callum was one of the strongest, most kindest people I knew, even when he was feeling shitty he always tried to bring other people up and make them smile. He wasn't perfect, but he was a good person and he tried his best, but the access of the right help was difficult for him to find.
   
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Re: Callum's Story - August 3rd 2013, 09:42 PM

A lot of access for the right help is out of reach for teens because they are scared. It's great that he helped others even if he wasn't good at the time. He sounds like he was a great person.
All anyone can do is try there best.
   
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Re: Callum's Story - August 4th 2013, 05:19 PM

It was out of reach for Callum because at the local doctors you are not allowed to go to them alone if your are under 16 without an adult. Teachers at the school always call the parent and social services if an allegation is made, therefore Callum retracted what he told them because they told him they would call his father. New rules need to be put into place to protect people, because to many cases are being seen where kids are dying by their own hands or the hands of their abusers.
   
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Re: Callum's Story - August 4th 2013, 07:47 PM

Sadly that is true. Here It's 16 also, they would of called his father, but they would of also gotten his help.
It's hard but, remember he is in a better place now.
   
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