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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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i_am_me_again Offline
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Name: Jaymi
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Unhappy Everybody around me is dying...why? - April 28th 2009, 06:48 PM

First of all , one support worker lost her two aunties in the space of a week.

Then my second support worker (today) just lost a close family friend.

People around me are dying...am I a curse??

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noise94 Offline
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Re: Everybody around me is dying...why? - April 28th 2009, 06:56 PM

Hey Jaymi. (:

I'm very sorry to hear about the deaths of those people. But you are not a curse. None of their deaths are any cause of yours. People die, it happens. It sucks, but it happens. Nobody can control what happens, and it's not your fault in the slightest. It couldn't be. It's just a horrible coincidence.

Just hang in there. Bad things always tend to happen together, just keep an eye out for the good things, too. Stay strong and if you ever need to talk, you know where I am.

Take care of yourself.
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eunoia Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Everybody around me is dying...why? - April 28th 2009, 11:19 PM

Hey there, Jaymi.

I'm sorry to hear about these losses--when we lose so many people, in such a short time, we're often left wondering why. You may be questioning a lot, right now. It's important to remember though, that although you may have wanted to, you couldn't have prevented these things from happening.

Death is scary. When people around us pass, we're forced to admit nothing lasts forever, and that all life is fragile. Please remember, though, that there is nothing wrong with you; you aren't a curse and these people's deaths are not your fault.

Let me know if I can help you in any way. Take care of yourself.

Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
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soul Offline
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Re: Everybody around me is dying...why? - April 29th 2009, 09:15 PM

Hey Jaymi,

When people die around us it is common to find any excuse to blame ourselves in attempts to make sense of the loss. It has been said that “Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.” It is common to feel this misplaced guilt especially when you've lost so many people in such a short time. Keep in mind that you weren't the only one who knew these people so it isn't logical that out of everyone you'd automatically be the cursed one. The death of a loved on can never be explained away. No one lives forever and that isn't your fault. Guilt and self loathing won't get you anywhere. On the other hand, acceptance will help you move towards healing. Acceptance doesn't mean forgetting everyone who has passed away. On the contrary, it means accepting that they are gone, forgiving and ridding yourself of this misplaced blame, realizing you could not have saved them, and understanding that bad things happen to good people. Their deaths are not some sort of punishment for anything you've done. Life just doesn't work out that way. Horrid things happen to people who don't deserve them in the least bit. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you. Take care and hang in there.

Lots of love <3 Mimi

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