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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Lindsey98 Offline
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Name: Lindsey
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: US

Posts: 25
Join Date: January 7th 2014

Question The aftermath - January 7th 2014, 09:04 PM

This summer has been hard I lost a friend of 10 years when he drowned in a lake. It's been a long process but I am healing. My moms best friend is dying of brain cancer and I'm tired of going to funerals. So far 8 in the past 18 months. My worst problem right now is with my bestfriend. Her sister died this summer and they don't know why. The thing that tears me up is that she cried that day because she had to tell me. She was worried I would be mad because it was my birthday. I don't know how to help her anymore. We talk every week because she likes talking about her sister. And every time I want to cry. Especially when she told me how she saw her in the hospital after she died. I don't talk to her about me being sad because that would be mean to put more stress on her. On top of that I think every time she sees me she's reminded of her sister. I don't know how to help or cope.
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I can't get enough
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Name: Kayla Christine.
Age: 26

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Re: The aftermath - January 8th 2014, 12:17 AM

I'm sorry your losing people you care about.

I know this might be hard to do, but try telling her that your sad. You can't deal with yourself if your always helping someone else. It's understandable that you want to be there for your friend, but you come first Your mental health and your health in general.

It will be hard, but there are people who you both can talk too, sometimes therapy will help more than you think.

I hope things start to get better for you.
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Chris Offline
Outside, huh?
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Re: The aftermath - January 8th 2014, 03:38 AM

Hi there, Lindsey.

I'm really sorry to hear about the recent losses you have endured. Losing someone is sometimes one of the hardest thing to deal with in our lives.

The best way to "help" your best friend, is to support her. Meaning, let her vent, cry, and talk to you about her sister (or any other issues). Be there for her both physically, and emotionally when needed. Those two things provide the foundation for helping her toward healing. However at the same time, don't ignore your own needs. If you feel as if you need to talk about something (i.e., because your sad, upset, depressed, etc), bring it up to someone. You can bring it up to your best friend, a school counselor/social worker, a teacher/principal, or even a trusted adult. The point is, don't neglect your needs and your healing process either.

I hope that both you, and your best friend will be able to recover from these tragic events that have unfolded in both of your lives.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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