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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Shannon Offline
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I'm...not sad... - April 30th 2009, 03:39 AM

Granted, it was no one extremely close to me who passed away. But I've known her my whole life. It was this nice old lady that was a friend of my Grandma's, who lived down the road sort of from her house. It may not sound like anyone of importance, but she was always there, and I used to always go over to her house, and now she's gone, and it doesn't feel that different.

I don't know. It was like, I heard the news, and immediately, I felt like I understood and it didn't even shock me, at all. She was in her late ninety's, after all, but...I just feel bad. She was so nice to me. I've got some of my best memories of being at her house.

Is this bad? I'm afraid that it's just not sinking into my brain for some reason. But I'm more afraid that it is, and I'm truly not caring that much :/
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Re: I'm...not sad... - May 2nd 2009, 09:02 PM

An absence of feeling is perfectly normal. She evidently wasn't meaningless to you, it's unlikely you'll feel this way for long.

Hope you're okay xx
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Re: I'm...not sad... - May 3rd 2009, 09:12 AM

She wasn't meaningless to you, you clearly cared about her a lot. My grandpa is about to die and I feel the same way. You proberly won't feel like that for long. Stay strong.

Reach for the moon,

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eunoia Offline
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Re: I'm...not sad... - May 5th 2009, 09:14 PM

Hey there, Shannon.

Everyone grieves differently. You may find that in a while this hits you pretty hard, or you may find that you have made peace with her loss sooner than expected. Although there's no way to prepare for death, sometimes coping with the death of an elderly person comes easier--we come to understand that no one lives forever, and are able to make peace with the deaths of those who have lived long and fulfilling lives.

There's nothing bad or wrong about how you are coping with her loss, though, Shannon. Take care of yourself and let me know if I can be there for you, in any way.

Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
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Re: I'm...not sad... - May 5th 2009, 10:06 PM

I've noticed that this tends to happen when the person who has passed away is older. It's possible you might have been expecting it for a while now on some level, and that's why you took the news so easily. Also, if you hadn't seen her in a while - you said you used to see her a lot, so I'm just assuming you hadn't for a while - then it's natural for you to just feel a little bad, and move on. And as other people have said, everyone deals with grief and death differently. I'm sure she meant a lot to you, but you might have just come to terms with it quickly. There's nothing wrong with that. Either way, I'm truly sorry to hear about the loss. I hope everything works out for you.

I lost myself in the space between heaven and hell.
...where do we go from here?

R.I.P. Sarah; 1991-2009
Kacy; 1992-2009
I'll never forget.

Two months clean and sober.
Seven months since last cut.
Still struggling and surviving.

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Re: I'm...not sad... - May 9th 2009, 02:07 AM

well i kinda understand what you mean. i hate to say but my grandmother passed away about 2 years ago(wow havent noticed its been that long) and i grew up in a different state then the rest of my family. i mean i was never really here that often growing up and once we moved back she was gone and i just couldn't cry or feel that sad and it was killing me because she was also family. but i learned that i cant have it bother that much because its not like she was nothing i just never got the experience of really having her in my life and having her help me with much. and maybe it might be the same but i cant say. and you said you use to go there all the time and i use to be with her all the time but i was also little and didnt get much. it also might have something to do with the age you knew her at. but i dont really know
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imnot, sad

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