TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Melancholia. Offline
Devil Dez

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
Melancholia.'s Avatar
 
Name: Dez
Age: 22
Gender: They/them.
Location: Connecticut, USA

Posts: 19,104
Blog Entries: 138
Join Date: November 16th 2010

Am I a bad person for thinking this? - January 15th 2014, 10:08 PM

Hi all,

So, at the beginning of the month, we found out that one of our school's security guards passed away unexpectedly. I don't feel incredibly sad over it, but that's because I didn't really know her that well so I don't feel guilty over that. I mean it IS sad and it is a shame, and it does feel weird that one minute she can be alive (I saw her at least once before winter break), but then the next minute she's gone. But, that's not really the main topic of the post as I'm not looking for support on that.

As you may know, over the summer, a teacher I really cared about passed away due to cancer.

Basically, there was a lot of notice about the security guard's death. There was an email sent out all the teachers had to read to the students. There was a banner hung up on the wall that we could all sign and give to the family. She was talked about throughout the school for at least a few days.

My teacher? He got nothing. I mean, it happened over the summer and only a small portion of the school really got to know him, but he got NOTHING.

Want to know how his students found out about his death? My friend heard a rumor so I texted the teacher to confirm. That teacher found out through a CUSTODIAN that she's friends with, not even any of her bosses. Then, it was up to us students to inform one another of his passing. One of my friends got told by me through FACEBOOK, how lovely. No administrators or people from the school informed us. He wasn't mentioned at ALL in school. There was no announcement, no email, nobody outside of the teacher who worked closest to him really mentioned anything about it. There was no banner in his honor. There was no talking about it besides with the students who had the class with me. Nothing. He got no mention.

Is it bad for me to feel so annoyed (for lack of a better word) by it? I feel frustrated that the security guard got so much notice but my teacher got NOTHING. I mean, it's nice that they went through all that for the security guard, but geez, the least they could do, even though not everyone in the school would know a lot about my teacher, is to say "Over the summer, Mr. W passed away."

I will let this go after a while, but is it bad of me to think that at all, that it's kind of frustrating that one person got so much recognition while others got none?


Let it come and let it be...

  Send a message via Yahoo to Melancholia.  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
I can't get enough
*********
 
Eternal Dreamer ♥'s Avatar
 
Name: Kayla Christine.
Age: 24

Posts: 3,076
Blog Entries: 213
Join Date: June 15th 2010

Re: Am I a bad person for thinking this? - January 15th 2014, 10:31 PM

Dez, I don't find it bad that you feel this way. At least the school could of done was tell you when you got back to school.

Lots of people get more attention than others, specially in people's deaths. Most of us know that some causes of deaths get more attention than others, do I think it's right no.

They should of told you, at least when you got back, I can understand why the ine got more attention because it was during the school year, and not over summer break, but it still isn't right they didn't tell you.

I hope this answered your question.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Usernames Suck Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Usernames Suck's Avatar
 
Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 199
Join Date: January 15th 2014

Re: Am I a bad person for thinking this? - January 17th 2014, 05:07 PM

I'm sorry that you found out the way you did. I think they could have informed the students as well.

However, maybe they only announced it to people currently studying under that teacher. Since it was over the summer, maybe the staff didn't feel like it was for the best to bring it up again, especially if it was in the early summer or halfway through it. It's also possible that they've been avoiding any large homages because it could stir up a lot of feelings for any of the teacher's relatives or friends, even students. This may be especially true if it was due to a prolonged illness.

You're not a bad person for wishing that both deaths could have been announced to students and that everyone could have had more support and more of a chance to pay some kind of homage where your teacher was concerned.

I would think it was mean if you didn't think that the security guard's death was important or if you wished people would stop caring. However, that doesn't sound like what you're doing, and wishing that your teacher's death and its announcement to the students could have been handled better isn't wrong. It also seems normal that you'd instinctively compare the way the school handled the two.

I'm very sorry for your loss.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
bad, person, thinking

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.