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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Palmolive Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Name: Jessie
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Exclamation Uncle (L)... - April 30th 2009, 11:34 AM

My great uncle, my dads uncle, just dyed.
Firstly, This is a hole lot more stress been put on to my family as we were already falling apart, and its affected my dad bigtime. How do i support him and be there for him? I dont know what im meant to do to make him feel a little bit better?

Secondly, Do i go to the funeral. I will admit, i wasnt that close to him. Ovbiously i still knew him and i stil loved him. I hadnt seen him in a while because he had cancer, and was strong enough.

Thridly, its messed me up cause now the reality world has hit me and made me realized one day, my mums mum and dad are going to die. I havnt seen them in 12 years, and what do i do when they do die.

Its all to much.
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Lorelei Offline
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Re: Uncle (L)... - April 30th 2009, 04:26 PM

Hey Jessica
Your dad must be having a difficult time right now. If you feel comfortable enough to say it, let him know that you're sorry that he lost his uncle. If he wants to talk about it, just listen. If he doesn't want to talk, that's okay too. Just listen if he wants to talk, and show him you care through your actions.
Whether or not you go to the funeral is your choice. If you feel you can handle it, then go. If you don't think you can handle it, then don't go. Everyone grieves differently and I don't think anyone would begrudge you for not going.
If you want to foster relationships with your grandparents, I say go for it. But don't do it just because you feel obligated.
Deep breaths-- it'll be alright. I'm around if you want to talk.

"How dare I? Because it is the truth." -Jane Eyre

"You do what you love, and f#%* the rest." -Little Miss Sunshine
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eunoia Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Uncle (L)... - May 5th 2009, 08:27 PM

Hey there, Jessica Louise.

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your great uncle. It sounds like your father is having a particularly difficult time, right now. The best thing you can do, to be there for him, is offer to listen if he needs to talk. Understand that he'll talk when he needs to, and that he'll grieve in the most healing way, for him. Remember that you can be there for him, but know you do not have to take on everything--he's an adult, and will know how to cope.

I'm not sure if the funeral has passed yet, or not, but know that you only have to go if you are comfortable doing so. Sometimes we cannot bring ourselves to attend funerals, and that is okay.

Like Laura said, you can take this opportunity to reunite with your grandparents, but you do not have to. No matter what, I don't think there is any way to prepare for losing them. When the time comes, you will find a way to cope. Lean on those around you for comfort and support.

Take care and let me know if you need to talk.

Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
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